What's my assignment?

A Course in Miracles talks a lot about our function.

Our function is our purpose, it's why we're here, it's our assignment.

Are we here to get rich?  To raise beautiful children?  To see the world?  To enjoy our lives?  To be nice to other people?

Although there's nothing wrong with any of these activities, they have nothing to do with our true function, our true purpose, our true assignment.  We're here for so much more than all this.

"Forgiveness is my function as the Light of the World".   --Workbook Lesson 63

What does it mean to choose forgiveness as our true function?

It's not just forgiving the guy that stole your parking place.  It's more than forgiving the person who deeply and truly broke your heart.  It's more than forgiving your parents for the overall permeating sense of rejection they created in your life.  It's more than forgiving what's going on right now in the Middle East.  It's so much more than any part of this alone.

Our true function is to forgive ALL of this.  We are here to forgive the WORLD.  All of it!  Yes, every single bit of pain, hurt, difficulty, frustration, lack, murder, sin, guilt, upset and fear.  The whole enchilada is what we're here for.

"Feel what you have created as a substitute for the truth.  Own it, look upon it, and then let it go.  Learn that regardless of what choice you may have made in the past, once you have embraced it, once you have felt it, you remain perfectly innocent and imbued with the power to choose again, to feel, to learn once again to feel the glorious warmth that permeates the Kingdom of Heaven."  --Way of Mastery p. 81      

We are here to accept every single bit of fear we see in the world around us.  Every bit.  We must see it, feel it, forgive it, accept it and release all judgment of it.  And as we do so, we transmute our feelings about what we see into love.  With acceptance comes love.  And with love comes peace.

"There will not be a molecule of beingness within you that will feel any resentment, any longing, any anger, or any remorse for anything.  All of your experience will have become wholly acceptable to you.  For it was by such experience that you were finally driven to want only the Truth." --Way of Mastery p. 81   

That's why we're here folks.  Nothing more and nothing less.  To forgive, accept and embrace with love all that exists.

The Moment When Life Begins

A Course in Miracles tells us that in all moments we are making a choice between love and fear.  It is very simple, really.  All we have to do is choose love now.  And in the next moment, choose love now.

"When you look upon all things without judgment through the eyes of forgiveness, when you decide to embody only the reality of Love no matter what anybody else is doing, that is when life begins."  --The Way of Mastery p.79

Only we can be the master of our thought.  No one else can get inside our head. We must be the one to cease the endless fear thoughts the ego stirs up.   At times, this may seem difficult to do, however, this is only the fearful thinking of the ego, trying to convince us it can't be done.  It can be done. It must be done.

And what is our reward for this effort?  Why, it's peace, of course.  It's love. Happiness. Joy.

It's a chance to leave this "hell on earth" we create in our very own minds and enter into Heaven right here in our own daily lives.  Right here. Right now.

In most moments, most days, it's just a matter of noticing our thoughts.  When fear creeps in, when judgment takes over, we can make another choice.  "Choose again", as A Course in Miracles says. We can make that choice to flip the switch from fear to love.

Choose again.

But...some days it's harder to flip the switch.

Occasionally the darkness descends and won't be transcended easily.  When this happens, ask the Holy Spirit to help.  Give all your fearful thoughts over to the Holy Spirit.  If it helps, visualize yourself actually handing them over.  Or create a huge white light altar and place your fear upon it.  Spirit will take it from you and cleanse your mind. Sometimes this cleansing happens instantly.  Sometimes this process can take hours.  Vow to sit right where you are until your thinking clears.  Wait it out.  Every time a fear thought comes, turn it over.  Do it again and again if you have to. Here's an affirmation you can use:

"I accept the love of God."

Repeat this over and over.  Then spend some time just quietly listening with no expectations of hearing anything.  If there is anyone you can forgive for anything, do it.  Work at this process diligently, and I promise you, the fear will pass.  Love thinking will return.

Does this seem difficult?  Uncomfortable?  Insane?  Actually, it's insanity to live in torment, when a choice for peace exists.  It's insanity to live in fear when a choice for love exists.  There are people all over this planet choosing love, right now.  Join us.

This is when life begins.  

Do you wish people well when they walk through the streets of your mind?

Or is your mind a mind field?

When you think of others, do you think with attack or love?

Is your mind a dangerous place for others?  If so, it is also a dangerous place for you.

What you give out, you get back.
If your mental habit is to attack and judge others, then...
you will be attacked and judged by others.

What are you offering to the world?
When your mind is a dangerous place, you are creating a world of fear.

When your mind holds love, you are creating a world of love.

Your thought is under your own dominion.
You choose your thoughts.
Don't let them choose you.
When attack thoughts come...
Choose again.  Make a choice for love.

Again and again.  Make another choice.
Create the habit of choosing love.  Always.
Let love and a better world be your legacy.

This is how you create happiness.
Happiness in the world around you.
And happiness in your own mind.

"Compassion is an attitude that upholds the memory of wholeness for people when they are lost in separation, pain and conflict."

I often talk about "flipping the switch" from love to fear.  Forgiveness happens at the very moment that we flip that switch.

One moment we are feeling thoughts of fear; anger, hurt, resentment, frustration, annoyance, irritation, victim-hood, upset, pain, rage and most importantly a sense that we are ultimately unloveable.  We flip that switch by dropping the fear thoughts of separation and isolation and replacing them with love thoughts.  We don't have to go all the way to full love, the switch happens the moment we start up the road to love; sympathy, understanding, compassion, hopefulness and a sense of sharing and oneness.

"Love is also grounded in an attitude of compassion.  Compassion is necessary for our survival and our evolution.  Compassion is an attitude that upholds the memories of wholeness for people when they are lost in separation, pain and conflict.  Compassion is love's holding environment.  It is how love whispers to us, "I will remember the truth of who you are even when you cannot remember this for yourself."  This compassion sees through what Einstein called the "optical delusion" of separation.  Einstein taught us that we can free ourselves from identifying with this ego-consciousness by 'widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.'" --Robert Holden in Loveability p. 29 (emphasis in italics are mine)

And just what exactly is "the truth of who you are when you cannot remember this for yourself"? Everyone's truth is the same--that we are all one, that we all are a part of God's creation, that we are all one thing and one thing only...love.  We are perfect, whole and complete.  We are created by God in his own image.  God loves us infinitely and our one and only task is to extend this love by returning it to God and to each other.

When we flip the switch from fear to love, all we need to do is acknowledge this truth for the other person.  We simply need to know that they are a Child of God.  In a sense we are actually switching from the smallness of our ego minds to a much bigger and more truthful picture, in fact we are switching to the whole picture.  It's a matter of changing the perspective of our thinking and broadening our minds so that we see and think as God himself does.

This life of separation is only a dream our egos created anyway.  It's not real.  Nothing involving fear really exists. Fear is only an invention of the mind.  it is an illusion.  Yes, living here on 3D planet earth, we think it's real, but we've only forgotten the truth that we are all one and that in that oneness, we are love.

"To love and be loved is the true joy of every human heart.  There is no higher happiness than this.  Alas, in any human dramas there are also wounds and disappointments, mistakes, betrayals, pain and heartache.  Even so, love comes to our rescue.  Love offers us a solution, which is a process called forgiveness.  Forgiveness is an angel that comes to us when we sleep and wakes us from the hypnosis.  It is the ground of love that supports you when you are falling, breaking apart, and coming undone.  Forgiveness undoes the blocks to loves awareness.  It shows you that a universe of love doesn't ever stop, even when all you can see is pain.  Love always loves you, even when you can't or won't love yourself." --Robert Holding Loveability p. 29

Oddly, flipping the switch from fear to forgiveness is surprisingly easy once you get some practice with it.  It's true that when you are in the throes of anger and hurt, the thought of forgiving can feel very distasteful.  But once you learn that a feeling of love and relief flows over you with forgiveness, you will become more motivated to do it sooner.

Also, there is that little matter of increasing annoyances.  While you are in a state of separation and amplifying those fear feelings by cherishing the anger and hurt, your 3D earthly life will reflect this separation.  This is the time that you will stub your toe, lose an important business contract, upset the feelings of those you care about and wake up with a bad hair day.  This is absolutely true, and if you don't believe me about this yet, just watch how it plays out in your life.

So, learn to get over it quickly.  Drop the feelings of fear and let the hurt and anger switch over to love as quickly as you are able to.  Remember that when you give love, you get love.  Find the love and happiness you are seeking.  It's there waiting for you and all you have to do to receive it is practice forgiveness.

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Solve One Problem...Get Another

The ego loves to keep us immersed in the "reality" of daily living.  It loves to create problems.  Problems distract us from noticing our separation from God.  If we weren't so busy solving all these pesky problems we might have more time to notice how insane this all is and start to pay more attention to solving our one real problem...that we need to get back to God.

(In previous postings, I've been talking about ego set ups.  There's the "I Can't Win No Matter What I Do", see here.  There's also "The Rug Got Pulled Out From Underneath Me", see here.)

One of the ways the ego keeps us wrapped up in worldly living and away from spiritual thinking is by giving us problems.  Lot's and lot's of problems.  In fact, we're never without problems.  If we solve a problem, not to worry, more will show up.  In fact, solve one...get two.  Problems are BIG and important!  They require our immediate attention, or they require ALL of our attention.  They are urgent.  They are critical.  They must be attended to or something TERRIBLE will happen!

Even worse are the never ending problems.  Most of us have at least one problem like this.  They stem from our false beliefs (for more on false beliefs, see here).  These are the kinds of problems that stick around...perhaps for a lifetime.  For some people, these kinds of problems have to do with money.  For others, with relationships, health or a lack of self worth.  We all know someone who has been sick with one illness after another practically from the moment they were born.  Or someone who can never seem to make a relationship stick.  There are also those people who self-destruct their lives on a regular basis because of their deep-seated false belief that they are not worthy, not love-able, and undeserving.

Okay, take a deep breath and let's look at the real "reality".  Problems are only perceptions.  There's nothing really wrong here.  We have air to breath and clothes to keep us warm.  The birds are singing and the sun still shines.  We have water to drink and food to eat.  Right now, right here, in this very moment, there are no problems here.  And in the next moment, and the next moment and the next moment.  There are no problems.  We are safe and we are loved by the divine.

We have the potential to fill our minds with love.  Or we can choose to indulge the ego and fill it with fear.

And since our thoughts are creative, when we fill our minds with fear thoughts, what are we creating in our lives?  Problems, of course!

So what are some good practical ways to end the perpetual problem cycle in our lives?

Well, first we can choose to cast out fear thoughts whenever we become aware of them.  This takes a great deal of strength of character and determination, but it can be done.  Thinking is habit and habits can be changed.  It is within our realm of power to insist on only allowing worthy thoughts in our minds.  And as our thoughts become cleansed, we create less chaos in our lives.  If we focus on loving thoughts and thoughts of gratitude, beautiful things show up in our lives.

The second way to reduce problems in our lives is to release the habit of judging others (see here, here and here.)  When we judge others, we are damaging ourselves.  We get what we give.  It's just how things work.  When we view others harshly, we view ourselves harshly too.  And that creates guilt down deep in our subconscious mind.  Even worse, when we have guilt, we believe that we should be punished.  And how do we punish ourselves?  Why, with problems, of course.

Just as with clearing our minds of fear thinking, ending the habit of judging is challenging.  It takes work and commitment, but it can be done!  Go cold turkey on judging today.  Just stop it.  (See here.)  Stop creating guilt and begin to create peace.

Finally, the third and most effective way to significantly reduce the problems in your life is through forgiveness.  Start by forgiving every problem you have in your present and every person that is even vaguely connected to these problems.  Once you've taken care of today's forgiveness needs, begin to systematically dig into your past and forgive all the hurts, wounds, anger and upset you have from your past problems.  (See here.)  And then go to work on forgiving your mental blocks and false beliefs  (see here.) Again, this may seem like a lot of work, and it is.  However, forgiveness dissipates problems.  As you forgive and release the world you have created, you will have fewer and fewer problems.

It's your choice to make.  Problems or happiness?

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How to Forgive a Bully

Last night in my A Course in Miracles study group, a friend mentioned to me that one of her friends is currently reading my book, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness".  She is only partly though it, but she is coming to understand how important forgiveness is.  However, as many of us do, she has something big in her past that needs to be forgiven, and the idea of letting it go not only confuses but upsets her.  She was raped.  She said to my friend, "Why do I have to forgive someone who RAPED me??!!"

In addition, I've been thinking a lot lately about people around the world who are right now dealing with powerful bullies, dictators and political enemies that need to be forgiven.

I admit that this is a difficult kind of forgiveness.  It takes a little more soul searching and growth to forgive on this level than just forgiving the guy that stole your parking spot at the grocery store.

What's a bully, really?  Bullies are people who experience a great deal more fear than you and I do.  That's why they act out in ways that we would never ever consider.

Remember that everything that any of us do here is either an act of love or it is a call out for love.  That's it.  In every moment, we are either in a state of love or in a state of fear.

Where most of us drift back and forth between love and fear throughout each day, bullies have indulged their fearful sides.  More, or practically all, of their daily thoughts (both consciously and sub-consciously) relate to fear.  As they allow their fear to grow, their behavior becomes more and more aggressive.  The fear is the cause and their aggressive behavior is the effect.

Whenever we act out our fear, we create guilt in our minds (again this can be conscious or sub-conscious).  This means that the more a bully behaves like a bully, the more their guilt increases, which in turn, leads to even more fear.  After all, if we believe we are guilty, we also believe we should be punished.  The increased fear leads to ever more vicious and harmful behavior patterns.

A bully can be someone you know whom is merely unpleasant to be around, but he can also be threatening, combative or violent.  He/she can be a dictator, a rapist, a spouse batterer or even a verbal abuser.

Before you begin to approach forgiving a bully, it helps to do a little self-introspection.  Even though you may spend a great deal more of your time in love thinking than the bully you are forgiving, it's important to remember that we all have many fear thoughts each and every day.  When we judge a bully for indulging in fear, aren't we really judging him for something we often do ourselves?

Think back and review your life.  Haven't there been moments when you yourself behaved as a bully, even just a little tiny bit?  Did you ever bully your little brother or sister?  Were you ever part of a "popular" crowd in school that excluded or made fun of less popular kids?  Have you ever bossed your spouse around?  Your children?  Your employees?  Are you ever just the teensy-est little bit bossy?  Do you like to get your way?  Have you ever behaved selfishly?

The scale of your actions may be much smaller, but again, bully thinking is bully thinking.  When you are thinking and acting as a bully, you are out of alignment with love.

We all have things in our past we're not proud of.  Looking back we might see that at the time that we were behaving badly, we had our rationalizations.  We did what we thought was in our best interest at the time.  Yes, our little mis-behaviors are nothing compared to rape in terms of their effects.  But at the causal level they are the same.  They come from fear based thought.  And all fear based thought is the same.  It is simply non-loving.

One more thing you might try before you attempt to forgive a bully is empathy.  It's actually extremely sad that your bully feels so very alone and afraid that he believes his only option is to behave this way.  What caused all that fear?  What was his childhood like?  He must have experienced terrible rejection.  On a deep down level he must believe in his worthlessness or he wouldn't be so desperately trying to prove his value to himself through abusive acts.  Take a moment and think about his pain.  Think about how he suffers each day from fear, loneliness, guilt and self-hatred.

You certainly don't have to condone his actions, but can you find a little love somewhere in your heart to offer this poor tortured creature?  Just the smallest scrap of sympathy?  This is very important because when you are able to see another side of this situation you are taking your first step toward flipping the switch in your mind from fear to love.  You are releasing your own fear, and as you do this, you release your own guilt and pain.  This is how you find your peace.




If you feel you need help forgiving a bully I have three guided meditations that will teach you a process for forgiveness.  To forgive a bully that is harming you in your present, try Forgive Someone NOW.  To forgive someone from your past try Forgive Your Past NOW.

Forgive Someone You Love

I really believe that our biggest "forgiveness opportunities", as we A Course in Miracles Students like to call them, come from the people we know best.  The people that we are in relationship with can be our greatest source of joy...and they can also be our greatest source of annoyance or outright hurt.  Spouses, significant others, children, siblings, best friends or anyone else that we spend a great deal of time with, are often the people we find ourselves needing to forgive over and over.

I am going to give some tips on forgiving the people that we "love" the most, but first, I think it's important that we all give a good hard look at the reasons why we need to forgive our loved ones so often.  Remember that when we find that we need to forgive someone, it is because we have first judged them in some way.  We all need to ask ourselves some hard questions:

Are we too critical of our families, friends and loved ones?
Do we look at these relationships in terms of what we can get from them versus what we can give?
Do we have expectations for these people?
Are we accepting who they truly are or do we want them to be something else?
Are we looking at these people to be the source of our good in this world? 

No person is responsible for our happiness.  True happiness is something that comes from inside ourselves.  It comes when we know that we are loved and cherished by Spirit and are therefore able to love and cherish ourselves.  If we go looking for happiness elsewhere, we will never really find it.  Yes, we may find something that looks and smells a little bit like happiness for awhile, but it will always be fleeting.

Only the happiness we get from inside is the permanent kind that grows and deepens and sustains.  Forgiveness is the process through which we earn that happiness.  As we forgive others by offering them love, we begin to realize that we are worthy of that love, too.  It's a universal law, "You get what you give."  Happiness never comes from others, rather it comes when we give love to others.  Forgiveness is one of the ways we do this.

So first, let's all give a long hard look at each of our most challenging personal relationships and be honest with ourselves about how much of the discomfort we feel from those relationships is of our own doing.  This is not something that we will spend a quick few minutes on, but something that we will be studying and watching for the next few months as we really observe our own feelings and behaviors.

In the meantime, when we do find that someone we love is annoying us or hurting our feelings in any way, let's practice a little forgiveness.  My favorite forgiveness process for this situation is available in an audio format that you can download for $2.99, Forgive Someone NOW.

This audio takes 13 minutes to listen to, but it will teach you a process that takes less than a minute to complete once you get a little practice with it.  This is also forgiveness process #1, Seeing the Higher Truth, as outlined in my book, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness".  This is by far the process that I use the most frequently.  In fact, I use it almost every day for just about every thing that hurts or annoys me in my present

And here's a little advanced forgiveness experiment I recommend.  The next time someone that you "love" is upsetting you try "flipping the switch" right then and there.  

Go right from fear to love.  See if you can just stop the ego rampage in your mind.  Just let go of all those critical thoughts, those needy thoughts, those "I have to be right" thoughts, those "I need you to complete me" thoughts.  Just drop them.  Just do it.  And then turn up the love.  Direct feelings of deep love toward your loved one.  Let them amplify until they engulf the two of you.  Just keep intensifying the love.

One fascinating by-product of forgiveness is that it actually changes the world around us.  If you practice forgiving the people you love every time they press your buttons, you will find that over time your buttons get pressed less frequently, until eventually, almost never.  Do the people we love actually become less annoying with forgiveness or are we less likely to be annoyed?  Who knows?  I believe that both actually happen, but try it and see for yourself.  One thing I know for sure is that your world will change.    

This morning I was listening to a lecture with Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson.  Cheryl Richardson mentioned that a former therapist had asked her an important question during couples' counselling.  The question was, "Do you want to keep redecorating hell or do you want to fix this?"  This is exactly the issue we face when we allow ourselves to stay in a state of annoyance, hurt or victim-hood with the people in our lives.  We can allow our egos to take over, amplifying fear and keeping us in hell, or we can connect to Spirit and switch to love.  One of those choices leads to happiness!

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Happiness is Something You Decide On

"The 92-year old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair done and makeup applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. 

“Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room ...” 

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it."  --The above story came from Chapter Two Blog .   

Mrs. Jones knows something big.  And this is something that most of us go our entire lives without learning.  Mrs. Jones knows that our thoughts are the one thing in life that we have complete and utter control over.  How we chose to look at the world is the one choice that is ours to make.  Mrs. Jones knows that each of us has the wherewithal to choose to allow only thoughts that ultimately contribute to our happiness to fill our minds.   

Choosing to be happy means that we choose to accept everything that occurs in our lives, even blindness. 

Choosing to be happy means that we learn to trust that whatever occurs is ultimately for our greater good, if we will only let it unfold, watching it with love and acceptance.

Choosing to be happy means that we let go of our habit of judging.  We stop judging the people we encounter, we stop judging the events that occur in our life and we stop judging the world and its conditions.

Choosing to be happy means that we commit to work to forgive the source of our disappointments, pains, losses, lack, discomfort, unhappiness, sadness, frustrations and fear, whatever it may be.  

Choosing to be happy means that it is okay for us to experience and feel real pain and hurt when it shows up in our lives.  It's okay to grieve.  It's okay to gnash ones teeth.  It's okay to howl with frustration.  But then, we release it and move on.  we don't fixate and get stuck in victim-hood.  We forgive.   

Choosing to be happy means that we develop a forgiveness lifestyle, that we practice forgiving whatever pushes our buttons each day in our present, that we forgive the painful events from our past and that we work to uncover the "false beliefs" that we have created as the result of these past events that are creating upsetting, confusing and painful patterns in our present.

And finally. choosing to be happy means that we flip the switch in our mind whenever the ego rears it's ugly head.  We flip the switch from fear to love.  We choose to think with Spirit in our minds.  Whenever we notice that the ego has returned with its thoughts of fear and worry, sadness and disappointment, frustration and anger, hurt and despair...we process, we inquire, we dig deep into our pasts to find the source of these thoughts, we examine, we feel and we release.  And then we kick the ego to the curb and get on with our happy lives.  

When Thoughts Go Bump in the Night

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and find that your mind is filled with worry and fear?  Even those of us that work hard to eradicate fear thoughts during the day may find that our mind sometimes floods with upsetting thoughts in that state between waking and sleep.

The Witching Hour

This is a sign that we have some clean up work to do in our mind.  A forgiveness lifestyle will help lessen the fear.

In the meantime, what can we do when we wake to find ourselves in the dark shadow of the night?  We have two choices.  We can elect to deal with the subjects that are coming up right then and there.  If we are willing to just go with it and lose a few hours of sleep, this is a perfect time to do some forgiveness work.  The Feel the Feelings process which can be found in Chapter 3 of "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" is perfect for these times.  (There is also a downloadable audio meditation of this process available here for $2.99.  Why not just slip the headphones on and do the work right in bed?)

Or, for those of us that have to be up early in the mornings to deal with jobs or kids, getting back to peace so that we can sleep is essential.  It's important to "flip the switch" in our minds from fear to love.  One way to do this is with affirmations.  When we concentrate on repeating positive words over and over, there is no room left in our minds for the fear thoughts.

Flip the Switch from Fear to Love

Before starting the affirmations, it is a good idea to give the fear thinking over to Spirit.  You can just say in your mind, "I am giving this over to you, Spirit."  Or, if you are visual, you can create a beautiful white and gleaming marble altar in your mind.  Make it all lit up, glowing and gorgeously bright.  Place your fear thoughts on the altar and watch them be consumed with white flames of Infinite love.

What affirmations are best?  I like "I accept the love of God" or "Thank you God, for creating me."  An affirmation I'm currently working with is "I accept the happiness that God intends me to have."  Of course, you can choose any affirmation that works for you personally and flips you over from fear to love.

I once read someplace that an hour of meditation is equal to three hours of sleep.  Is this true? If this is so, you can calmly enjoy your affirmations, knowing that each moment you spend with them is contributing to a positive, powerful and energetic day tomorrow.

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Self Forgiveness is a Choice for Happiness

In any moment we are making a choice between one of two things.  We are choosing to be happy or not to be happy.  We are siding with either fear or love.  Every moment in life, every perspective we choose to peer from, every action we take or don't take are all a version of this simple choice.

Guilt is a man-made creation.  God did not create it, nor did he create sin.  In fact God always chooses love and happiness.  He created us in love.  We are designed to be happy.

But, for better or worse, we have been given free-will.  We can use our free will to choose happiness, as God wishes for us.  Or, we can choose fear over love.  When we buy into the concept of fear, we choose to believe that we can be "bad".  And, of course, if we are "bad", then we are sinners.  And if we are sinners, then we need to feel guilt.  This is our system of fear.  It's man-made.  It's not God's.  God is always love.

I say, scrap it.  Let's just toss out this painful, miserable, system of fear from our minds.  It doesn't serve our best interests.  After all, it is in our best interest to be happy.

Release the fear.  Release the belief that you are bad. Release the feelings of guilt.  In the short term this is always a very simple thing to do.  Just think about what makes you happy and keep your mind focused on that.  This is a habit you can develop.  It's a choice you make.  This is step one to becoming happy.

Step two is to go deep into your mind and uncover all the dark hidden unconscious feelings of shame and inadequacy.  The belief that you are a worthless, undeserving, selfish and ridiculous creature is stashed away in the farthest reaches of your mind. You'll have to do some serious forgiveness work to uncover these beliefs and eradicate them.  But you can do this  Anyone can do this.

It's actually very easy to do this work.  It does take thinking time and a development of self-awareness, but there are processes that make it simple work to do.  It all has to do with your intentions for your life.  What do you intend?  What do you choose?  Is it your choice to learn to be happy...to live the life that you were created for?

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It is Only Our Own Thoughts That Hurt Us

In "Out of Darkness Into the Light", Gerald Jampolsky lists this as one of his favorite principles from A Course in Miracles:

"It is only our own thoughts that hurt us.  It is only our own minds that need to be healed.  We are not victims of the world that we see."

We choose the contents of our minds.  We never HAVE to be a victim.  We can always elect to see the world differently.  We can simmer in anger and hurt or we can let it go and create peace in our minds.  As the Course says, we are always choosing between love and fear.  There is no grey in between.

If you are toying with the idea of letting it go, but like so many of us, simply don't know where to begin, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" walks you through beginning forgiveness practices and step by step teaches you how to forgive in every area of your life. It is soooooooooo much easier than you may think!  Why not trade in fear, anger, hurt, rage, sadness and upset for inner peace?  It is absolutely doable.  What in your entire world could possibly be more important than your own happiness?

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Does Victimhood Feel Good?

It must.  After all, we so often choose it.  We choose victimhood over peace and we make that same choice repeatedly throughout our lives.

When events transpire to leave us feeling like victims, we relish and cherish those feelings.  We fan the flames of our emotions, firing up the feelings of betrayal, hurt, and pain.  Our minds run amok with thoughts like "I can't believe he did that to me.  He is such a jerk.  I didn't deserve that!  Why would he do that to me?  I am always so good to him and then he turns around and does this to me!"

Or perhaps we simply run through the moment of betrayal and hurt repeatedly in our minds reliving the hurt.  We indulge in these thoughts.  Each time we experience it again in our minds it gets bigger and bigger, always more horrible, more hurtful, more painful.

Or maybe we harbor fantasies of revenge. Like the day we show up having lost twenty pounds and looking amazing.  That will make him regret what he did.  Or maybe we fantasize about hurting him just as badly as he hurt us and making him pay for what he did.  Or maybe we hatch elaborate plans about how we could take back whatever it is he took from us.

Sometimes we choose to stay in victim thoughts for years at a time.  Most of us have certain events in our past that are still defining us as victims, even though twenty or thirty years may have passed.  We are allowing our belief in victimhood to run our minds.  And when something runs our minds, it runs our lives.

Does this feel good?  In some twisted way, it does.  We cherish these feelings.  If we didn't, we would let them go. Or perhaps we simply don't know that there is another pathway available to us.

The truth is that at any moment in time we can stop being victims.  Our victimhood requires our continued belief that we have been wronged or harmed in some way.  We need to buy into the game in order to be victims. However, if we choose forgiveness, we are no longer victims.  We can be free of  the pain.  We can heal the wounds.  The contents of our mind is something that we have total and utter control of.  We can choose what we allow to exist in our minds.

Perhaps victimhood feels good.  However, wouldn't freedom feel better?  Wouldn't peace feel better?  Wouldn't living in love be vastly better than this experience of fear we are creating in our lives?  After all, choosing to be a victim is to choose fear over love.

Take a few moments and examine where in your mind you are allowing victimhood to rule. Is this really the choice you wish to make?  If not, forgiveness is the pathway to peace in your mind.  If you're not sure how to forgive, there are many easy processes outlined in "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness".  One of them will be the perfect way for you to let go and release victimhood permanently from your mind.

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When Forgiveness Seems Difficult

Yes, it's true...forgiveness can seem overwhelming when we're not in a regular forgiveness practice.  The first time we sit down and truly tackle forgiving someone, it can feel almost impossible.

That's happening for two reasons.  The first is that our ego loves to hold tight to our grudges, cherishing our wounds and flaming up the intensity of our pain.  The second reason is that we simply don't have the tools we need to forgive.

The first step is to use logic against the ego.  After all, it's actually very logical to forgive.  Holding grudges prevents us from experiencing happiness and inner peace.  We need to firmly tell our egos to get out of our way and to let us try forgiveness.

Baby steps.  Then, for our first time out of the box, let's just try a tiny forgiveness baby step.  Just sit quietly, with closed eyes and visualize that we are sending a huge stream of white light to our trespasser.  It's really that simple.  We are flipping the switch.  We're going from anger and resentment to love.  It may not feel like deep love yet, but we're making a very important step with our gift of white light.

And that's all it takes!  It's not necessary to call and make up with this person.  It's not necessary to apologize or take them out to lunch.  In fact, it's OK if we never see them again. We don't have to be friends with someone who has hurt us in the past.  But we do need to let our hurt feelings and anger release.   Just flip the switch from fear to love with the gift of white light and we will have made a great step forward in the act of forgiving.

It's likely that a few hours from now, or a few days from now, we'll find ourselves once again feeling annoyed or hurt and upset about this same person.  That's OK.  Just go back to using a little more white light whenever our thoughts go dark.  We are flipping the switch again from fear to love. Each time we forgive with our white light, the fear will be lessened.   And we'll keep sending white light until we have completely forgiven...because we know that a lifestyle of forgiveness leads to a life of happiness.

If you like this experience and would like to learn deeper forgiveness processes:

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And if you would like to gently guided through a quick and easy to use but very effective process for forgiving someone, download "Forgive Someone NOW".  Only $2.99.

Flip the Switch

Forgiveness is a matter of flipping the switch.  We go from fear to love.  From attack to generosity.  From thinking with the ego to thinking with Spirit.  From thoughts of torment, worry and trouble to thoughts of calm and inner peace.

At first, it's difficult to flip the switch.  We love our grudges.  They are cherished by us and we think we'll be giving up something we need if we release them.  But actually, they are nothing.  They bring us only pain.  Once released, we are happier.

With practice, we find it easier to just drop our grievance thinking and forgive.  Like anything else in life, the more we do it, the better we get at it.  Forgiveness becomes easy.  Most importantly, as we live the rewards of forgiveness we watch the happiness growing in our lives.  The more it grows, the more we want to forgive.

So come on, come on....get happy!

Start your happiness today.  For an easy guided forgiveness process, download Forgive Someone NOW for $2.99, here. You can load it onto your computer and then sinc it into your smart phone to listen to on head phones at night before you go to sleep.

Or download a copy of "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness";

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Hurt And Fear Accumulate

We all encounter people and events that hurt our feelings or deprive us of our core desires. As we go through life, we collect hundreds of little hurts and bruises to our psyche. Many of us experience some real heartbreaking events or true tragedies. In order to move forward in our lives, we stuff these hurts down deep and we don’t like to look at them. Looking at them reopens the pain.

As the weeks, months and years of disappointments, betrayals and rejections build up deep inside our subconscious minds, they begin to block our capacity to truly love. If we don’t heal and forgive them, they grow and fester. We become fearful in our approach to the world around us. Some of us may look confident, yet most of the time, we are just faking it. We’re not truly happy.

This low-level repressed anxiety and fear we feel drives us to keep ourselves busy as a distraction. We attend parties and dinners and meetings. We travel, have big “to do” lists, and raise families. We have crises and we have moments of joy. Most of this busy-ness, which we create to keep our minds occupied, is simply there to distract us from the monster of hurt deep inside us. We are afraid to really look at the monster, to acknowledge that we are deeply wounded inside and that we are, in actuality, sad, angry and fearful much of the time.

 A Course in Miracles says that there are really only two states. We are either in a state of love or we are in a state of fear. Since we rarely are truly feeling love, we spend most of our time in . . . you guessed it . . . fear. Of course, the biggest part of that fear is suppressed, controlled and locked away. However, it is always ready to rise roiling to the surface in full-out, hair-raising, panic-inducing, gut-wrenching, screeching, sniveling, and terrifying FEAR. And it sometimes does.

Who are we fooling?  Ourselves, really. We go on like this for years, racking up hurts and pains, pushing them down deep. There they fester, creating profound subconscious beliefs in concepts like rejection, worthlessness, disease, death or lack. The bigger these beliefs become, the worse our lives become. This is because the more we subconsciously believe in these limiting fearful concepts, the more rejection, worthlessness, disease, death and lack show up in the reality of our daily lives.

It becomes a vicious cycle. We attract more painful events and we push those new hurts down where they attach to other similar memories in our subconscious minds. The pain and the fear beliefs get bigger and bigger, each time attracting to us a more “in your face” real-life event.

These events often stay within the theme of our sub-conscious beliefs. In fact, we spend much of our lifetime experiencing the same painful types of events over and over. We rework a theme. For example, if our early experiences were with rejection, we keep experiencing larger and ever larger events having to do with rejection.

The Reward Of Forgiveness  Our only hope of ending all this fearful madness is forgiveness. When we stop the vicious cycle, begin to identify our beliefs, and forgive the events associated with them, we heal these beliefs deep in our subconscious minds. If we heal enough of these beliefs, we begin to release the fear and free ourselves up to live from love.

In fact, A Course in Miracles promises us that the more we forgive, the more the Holy Spirit will release guilt and pain from our subconscious minds. It’s a process and it takes effort and time. After all, we didn’t acquire these wounds overnight.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” If you want to see peace around you, start within. Forgive your older sister for ridiculing you in front of her friends. Forgive the next door neighbor for harping on you about your barking dog. Forgive your boss for speaking to you in a degrading tone, the clerk at the supermarket for ignoring you, and your first boyfriend for breaking up with you.

Most importantly, forgive your spouse, your father, your mother, and your children. Our families are our very best forgiveness opportunities, mostly because they are there for many years. Years of rubbing up against each other can create deep wounds. Each day, the causes of these wounds are re-enacted within our families. Each day we are gifted with the opportunity to end the pain and start the healing through our forgiveness.

An amazing by-product of forgiveness is that it really does change our world. You will find that as you forgive your family, friends and co-workers, old and uncomfortable behavior patterns and annoyances simply slip away. Life becomes easier. As all good Course students know, life is a classroom and as we learn our lessons through the process of forgiveness and acceptance, there is less pain to experience.

The Course has a term for this freer, happier life of joy and love. We call it the “happy dream” and it is available to each and every one of us if we make forgiveness a habit in our life. 

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What do you Choose?

"Nothing outside yourself can hurt you, or disturb your peace or upset you in any way."  --A Course in Miracles Lesson 70, Workbook

It's all a matter of choice.  How do we choose to see the world?  If we choose to see it through the eyes of forgiveness, the world will treat us gently.  If we choose to hold grievances, the world will continue to seem to be a fearful place. 

When we forgive, we are trusting God and knowing that everything we experience is for our greater good.  Sometimes it can be hard to understand this, especially when we are in the midst of  what seems nightmarish.  However, almost always, a purpose behind the pain comes clear at a later time.

In the meantime, we can look at the painful situations we have drawn to us and meditate on what we can learn from then.  What can we accept and forgive here?  How is this situation helping us to grow and purify and come to know more of love?

 

 

 

 

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God is the Love in Which I Forgive--Workbook Lesson 46

Many of us were brought up believing that we must ask God to forgive us.  However, God doesn't forgive!!  Does this idea surprise you?

God never judges and therefore he never finds it necessary to forgive.  I find this message to be of great comfort. 

"God does not forgive because He has never condemned. And there must be condemnation before forgiveness is necessary. Forgiveness is the great need of this world, but that is because it is a world of illusions. Those who forgive are thus releasing themselves from illusions, while those who withhold forgiveness are binding themselves to them. As you condemn only yourself, so do you forgive only yourself." --A Course in Miracles, Workbook, Lesson 46

 As our creator, God always knows his own truth about each of us.  We are perfect.  We are only good. We are love always and everywhere. 

Since God made us exactly in his own image, we can only be these things.  If we judge ourselves to be anything other than this, it is only our own self-created illusion.  We perceive that we are not perfect and therefore need God's forgiveness.

When we forgive others, we are actually acknowledging their truth--that there is nothing to judge them for, because they are also created in perfection.  They are only good.  They are love always and everywhere. 

The reason why it is so essential that we forgive others and see their truth is that as we see their truth, we actually begin to convince ourselves of our own truth.  If they are perfect, then we must be too.

"Yet although God does not forgive, His Love is nevertheless the basis of forgiveness. Fear condemns and love forgives. Forgiveness thus undoes what fear has produced, returning the mind to the awareness of God. For this reason, forgiveness can truly be called salvation. It is the means by which illusions disappear."  --Lesson 46 

Lesson 46 is the first place in the workbook that the concept of forgiveness is explored in any depth. Personally, I love the beautiful safety of knowing that I never need feel that I must ask for God's forgiveness.  Asking implies that it is possible that forgiveness might be withheld. 

Our fear of exactly that is the root of all of our problems.  We all live with deep and massive unconscious fear and guilt.  Our worry that God may disapprove of us, withhold his love from us, or feel angry toward us, causes tremendous and constant anxiety in our minds.  Here, in this very first Workbook message about forgiveness, we are being reassured that we need not worry about being judged by God.  God has only love and support to offer us. 

"I cannot be guilty because I am a Son of God.
I have already been forgiven.
No fear is possible in a mind beloved of God.
There is no need to attack because love has forgiven me."--Lesson 46