Are you really, truly happy?

A Surprising Discovery in a Book Club

When I was in my early 30s, I joined a book club. One meeting, I remarked that it seemed like all the books we had been reading were filled with angst. “Where are the happy people and the happy stories?” I wondered.

I was surprised when my book club friends all looked at me blankly. “Sue, the world is not about happiness,” they said. I was shocked. This was a group of successful career women, many with corporate husbands, lovely homes, and small children cared for by nannies. On the surface, we looked happy—but not so.

The Hidden Struggles Beneath the Surface

As we went around the room, each woman confessed she didn’t feel happy much of the time. They spent most of their lives navigating monstrous “to-do” lists, keeping their households running, excelling at work, and caring for everyone around them.

Beneath their exterior success, they were disappointed in unmet expectations, struggled with feeling unconnected, and often felt distant from family and friends. Every one of them battled fear, rejection, and inadequacy.

Every one of them was secretly bitterly disappointed that their husbands did not love them in the way that they had once hoped they would be cherished and loved, that their bosses and co-workers did not see them as shining saviors for the companies they worked for, that they struggled with feeling unconnected and distant from their closest friends, and were heart-broken to find themselves physically separated from parents and families who often lived significant distances away.

Their lives were a constant state of worry, inadequacy and disappointment.  Each one battled daily with fears of rejection and abandonment.  Each one lived a surface life of success and happiness but underneath resided a deep-seated terror that the gig was about to be up.  Each lived with a terrible and secret fear that their real truth would somehow rise to the surface, and the whole structure they had worked tirelessly to create would shatter to the ground.

The truth is that when the lights go out in the middle of the night and we’re alone with our thoughts, every one of us feels achingly lonely, remorseful and terrified.

What We Really Feel Is Guilt

Much of what we call unhappiness is actually guilt. We feel guilty because we are living separately from God.  Denying that guilt drives us to chase accomplishments, possessions, and the symbols of success.  It’s the pride of self our egos cling to that separates us from knowing our true relationship with God.  And clinging to these trappings, activities, and illusions only moves us further from the peace and joy that are naturally ours. 

It’s by our own choice that we live in unhappiness. 

This is because the “world” is actually structured so that we can be happy.  There is only one thing that we need to do to attain it.  And this one thing is forgiveness.  When we forgive and see everyone else in the world as a valued loveable soul created by God, we begin to learn to chose love over fear.  Over time, continuously choosing love releases the blockages we have built that prevent us from having a relationship with our creator. Life gets easier and happiness grows. 

Forgiveness: The Key to True Happiness

In my book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness, I provide many easy-to-use processes that help you forgive anybody and any event in your life—past or present. Develop a daily habit of forgiveness, and watch your life transform from fear to love.

Want to go deeper into forgiveness?

• Explore how forgiveness reconnects us to divine compassion in Unblocking our Connection to Love. Read it here →

• My book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness, offers heartfelt guidance, spiritual tools, and real-life practices. Read it on Amazon → | Barnes & Noble → 

• Let daily affirmations support you too — discover the Forgiveness Metta Card Deck for a gentle morning practice of peace and release.

• Receive free weekly forgiveness coaching emails and insights to deepen your practice → Sign up here

Let these tools light your path — because forgiveness sets you free.
— Sue Pipal

Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness is available at:

Amazon.com

Barnesandnoble.com

Balboapress.com