It Takes One to Know One

"There is nothing you can be aware of in the energy of another that you have not known in yourself.  There is nothing another can say or do, or even imagine themselves capable of saying or doing that you have not also known.  Again it takes one to know one.  When you perceive another acting out of hostility or fear, the only way you can recognize it is because you have been there."  --Way of Mastery p. 27

Some people just push our buttons.  That's how we like to think of it.  But what is really happening when we feel activated by the behaviors and attitudes of others?

When others annoy or irritate us, we feel that way because we are actually annoyed or irritated at the parts of ourselves we recognize in them.   Say, perhaps, we watch another person acting selfishly.  We identify their behavior as selfishness.  We are judging them for behaving badly.  However, the only reason we know what that behavior is about is because we ourselves have known selfishness in our pasts.  Perhaps we are even occasionally selfish in our present, too.  This behavior repels us in ourselves and that is why we feel put off by it when we see it in others.

We like to judge others because that puts the blame outside of ourselves.  It gives us the perception that they are wrong, or bad, or too this or too that--but that we ourselves are good, right and perfect.  We project our own weaknesses onto the world outside of ourselves and this allows us to feel better about who we are.  However, this behavior is only contributing to our feelings of separation.  

Again, it takes one to know one.  Or as Colin Tipping likes to say, "If you spot it, you got it."  The next time you find yourself judging someone else, take a moment to look deeply into yourself.  Ask yourself, "Where in my own mind do these same attitudes exist?"  "Where in my life have I acted out in this same way?"

And then let your judgments go.  Release and forgive.  It's so much easier to forgive others when we see that they are merely doing the same things we do.  We're all human.  We all slip up.  We're each here, simply learning our lessons.  Give others the freedom and support to learn their lessons in their own way, in their own time and place, without our interference or judgment.  This is what they need.  This is what we need.


Switch from fear and anger to love, understanding and support.   Remember that as we forgive them, we are forgiving ourselves.  Yes, you heard me right.  When we forgive someone else for behaving selfishly, we are actually forgiving ourselves for our own selfish behavior.  This is why forgiveness is essential if we want to be happy.  We can only forgive ourselves as we forgive others.

 

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Are You Choosing Separation from Spirit?

Words from Jennifer Hadley:

"I’ve come to realize that all feelings of fear are the result of choosing separation from Spirit in some form or another. It always comes down to a judgment, an opinion.

The more I cultivate a pristine awareness, a release of all opinions and judgments, the more peaceful I feel. The more safe and secure I feel. The more I feel free to Love and be loved.

Fear is not caused by anything other than choosing to value a belief in separation from each other and from God.  Practice non-judgment and watch the peace emerge and the fear recede.

Don’t take my word for it.  Prove it.  When you choose to block Love from your heart and mind, you feel afraid.  When you choose to block Love from your heart and mind, you are cutting the communication with the ALL in ALL – and that’s why you feel afraid.

If you don’t enjoy feeling afraid, choose again." 

You can find more of Jennifer Hadley at: jenniferhadley.com/blog.

There's No Separation

"Many of us still believe that we have to work at being loving, but that means living in duality, because there's a giver and a receiver. Realizing that we are love transcends this. It means understanding that there's no separation between you and me, and if I'm aware that I am love, then I know that you are, too. If I care for myself, then I automatically feel the same for you!"  --Anita Moorjani in "Dying to be Me" 

This is how we forgive. We recognize that there is no separation between ourselves and our tresspasser. We are all connected. We love ourselves and we extend love to our trespasser. It's that simple. It all happens in the mind. We simply offer love in our thoughts. We flip the switch from angry, sad, hurtful thoughts to loving thoughts. That's all it takes.

The simple act of switching our thoughts from fear-based exclusion thinking to love-based inclusion thinking is the start of the creation of inner peace. Make this way of thinking a habit and happiness will become the dominant characteristic of your life.

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Olympics--Oneness vs. Separation?

Many people like to think that the Olympics are about oneness.  And in some ways they are.  After all, people come together from around the world to participate in the same events.  That seems like oneness, doesn't it?

This kind of thinking can be a sneaky trick of the ego mind.  Beware of it.  Yes, people are coming together in certain ways, but they are also separating in distinct ways, too.  They are separating into winners and losers, winning teams and losing teams, winning countries and losing countries.

As, one by one, we watch each athlete compete, we are secretly judging them.  Who has the greatest skill, the highest speed, the most grace, the best physical body, the best uniform, the superior coach, the most interesting story.  We are judging a multitude of aspects for each of these athletes, teams and countries.  We pick our favorites and we cheer them on.  Worse, we pick our least favorites and we secretly hope they will fail.  We are attacking them in our minds.

Judging is not oneness.  In fact, judging is the opposite of oneness, it is the act of separating individuals or groups of individuals out for "specialness", as the Course of Miracles call it.  We can be special because we are better than others or we can be special because we are less than others.  Either way, "specialness" thinking is separation thinking.

Seeing every one else as equally important is the goal.  Why not try to watch these Olympics from a new perspective.  Can it be done without judgment?  Can we simply watch to celebrate everyone's beauty, effort and accomplishments?  Can we enjoy the creation of participation?  Can we love each and every athlete for who they really are...a child of God, created in His own image whom He loves infinitely?  When we can do this, we are thinking with love, accepting and forgiving the world as it is.

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Download a guided meditation in acceptance, only $2.99. 

Are you really, truly happy?

When I was in my early 30’s I joined a book club.  One meeting, I made the remark to the girls that it seemed like all the books we had been reading were filled with  angst.  “Where are the happy people and the happy stories?” I wondered. 

I was surprised that my book club friends all looked at me blankly.  “Sue, the world is not about happiness”, they said.  I was shocked.  “Is that true?  Aren’t all of you happy?”  Now, this was a group that included successful career women.  Many had corporate husbands with good paychecks, lovely houses, and small children with nannies to care for them.  On the surface, every one of us looked like the epitome of happiness. 

Not so, however!  As we went around the room, one by one each woman confessed that she did not actually feel happy much of the time.  Rather, they spent most of their lives fighting to navigate their monstrous “to- do” lists, to keep their refrigerators stocked with food, to get ahead and make something of themselves at work, to keep organized households, to provide for their children and their husbands needs. 

Every one of them was secretly bitterly disappointed that their husbands did not love them in the way that they had once hoped they would be cherished and loved, that their bosses and co-workers did not see them as shining saviors for the companies they worked for, that they struggled with feeling unconnected and distant from their closest friends, and were heart-broken to find themselves physically separated from parents and families who often lived significant distances away.

Their lives were a constant state of worry, inadequacy and disappointment.  Each one battled daily with fears of rejection and abandonment.  Each one lived a surface life of success and happiness but underneath resided a deep-seated terror that the gig was about to be up.  Each lived with a terrible and secret fear that their real truth would somehow rise to the surface, and the whole structure they had worked tirelessly to create would shatter to the ground.

The truth is that when the lights go out in the middle of the night and we’re alone with our thoughts, every one of us feels achingly lonely, remorseful and terrified.

What Most of us Feel is Really Guilt.   However our denial of guilt causes us to run out into the world chasing accomplishments, laurels, activities, possessions and all the symbols of happiness. In reality, on the deep level of truth, most of us are simply not happy.  We feel guilty because we are living separately from God.  And clinging to these trappings, activities, and illusions only moves us further and further from living with God.  It’s the pride of self our egos cling to that separates us from knowing our true relationship with God. 

It’s by our own choice that we live in unhappiness.   This is because the “world” is actually structured so that we can be happy.  There is only one thing that we need to do to attain it.  And this one thing is forgiveness. 

In my book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness, there are many easy to use processes that will help you to forgive anybody and any event in your life, current or past.   Develop a daily habit of forgiveness and watch your life change from fear to love.

Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness is available at:

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