How Projection Works

Judging others initially makes us feel good because we project our own shortcomings and insecurities onto the people we're judging.  In this way, we get to feel superior.  Think of projection just like going to the movies.  The projector throws the images away from itself and onto a screen.  This is what we do with the parts of ourselves we don't like.  We project or throw them off onto others because doing so momentarily makes us feel "special" and better than everybody else.

Of course, in a short while, the guilt that we create in our sub-conscious minds from judging others significantly outweighs any slight pleasure that we received in the original moment of judging.

If this idea that you are actually judging others of your own shortcomings seems surprising or hard to believe to you (as it originally did to me), you will need to do some deep thinking and observing as to the things you judge others for.  If you judge others for being overweight, look into your own fears that you won't be accepted by others.  If you judge someone for being too critical, look at your own habits of criticizing.   If you judge someone for physically attacking another person, think of all the times when you would have loved to do the same.

Remember, It's not what we physically do in this 3D earthly world.  What's really important is what is in our minds.  That's where the real action is.  It's our thought patterns that we are working to clean up.  I assume that if you're reading this blog, you are not running around shooting people.  What I'm discussing here is a more advanced level of thinking (although I say this being careful not to judge others who are not yet at this higher mental place).

A judgement or attack thought against anyone should be as concerning to us as it would be if we had actually physically attacked them.  After all, all minds are joined and a mental attack is known to our attackee on a sub-conscious level.  Yes, I'm saying that when we judge others, they know it.

We think that judging others is a harmless habit.  However, it is a dangerous habit for three reasons.  First because what we give out we get back.  If we judge others, we will be judged.  Second, because judging prevents us from doing the purification work in our minds required for our awakening.  It creates mental blocks in our mind.  And third because it is damaging to the people we judge.

I love the following section on judging in The Way of Mastery.  It shows how we all not only participate in judging but have created an elaborate system which is designed to do the judging for us so that we don't have to feel the guilt.  This is projection on a societal scale.

"In fact, the legal system means merely to take the act of projection and the need to judge and to make it okay socially, so that you need not be concerned with this other as your brother or as your sister who has been crying out for help.  Rather, you become justified in punishment.  Yet punishment is only the insane attempt to convince the punisher that the darkness, the evil--whatever you want to call it--is not in them, it is out there. 

Imagine a society in which the prevalent legal view is simply that your brother or your sister is an aspect of yourself.  And if you would help yourself, you must help them--meeting each cry for help and healing with forgiveness, love and support.  Can you imagine, for a moment, what it would be like to live in such a society?  How would it be different than the world you see?" --ps. 28-9

This is beautiful food for thought.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could one day start early to find our troubled children and create ways to forgive and nourish their souls so that they as adults they can feel loved and cherished in our society, instead of disenfranchised and angry?  In the meantime, we need to start this work on an individual level in our own minds.  As we heal our minds of the habit of judging, others around us become healed.

 Healing one's mind of the habit of judging is not something that happens over-night.  Habits are hard to break.  But it can be done.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to become aware each time you judge.  Then choose again.  Replace those judging thoughts with thoughts of kindness, loving understanding and forgiveness.  This is how we heal the world.

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Solve One Problem...Get Another

The ego loves to keep us immersed in the "reality" of daily living.  It loves to create problems.  Problems distract us from noticing our separation from God.  If we weren't so busy solving all these pesky problems we might have more time to notice how insane this all is and start to pay more attention to solving our one real problem...that we need to get back to God.

(In previous postings, I've been talking about ego set ups.  There's the "I Can't Win No Matter What I Do", see here.  There's also "The Rug Got Pulled Out From Underneath Me", see here.)

One of the ways the ego keeps us wrapped up in worldly living and away from spiritual thinking is by giving us problems.  Lot's and lot's of problems.  In fact, we're never without problems.  If we solve a problem, not to worry, more will show up.  In fact, solve one...get two.  Problems are BIG and important!  They require our immediate attention, or they require ALL of our attention.  They are urgent.  They are critical.  They must be attended to or something TERRIBLE will happen!

Even worse are the never ending problems.  Most of us have at least one problem like this.  They stem from our false beliefs (for more on false beliefs, see here).  These are the kinds of problems that stick around...perhaps for a lifetime.  For some people, these kinds of problems have to do with money.  For others, with relationships, health or a lack of self worth.  We all know someone who has been sick with one illness after another practically from the moment they were born.  Or someone who can never seem to make a relationship stick.  There are also those people who self-destruct their lives on a regular basis because of their deep-seated false belief that they are not worthy, not love-able, and undeserving.

Okay, take a deep breath and let's look at the real "reality".  Problems are only perceptions.  There's nothing really wrong here.  We have air to breath and clothes to keep us warm.  The birds are singing and the sun still shines.  We have water to drink and food to eat.  Right now, right here, in this very moment, there are no problems here.  And in the next moment, and the next moment and the next moment.  There are no problems.  We are safe and we are loved by the divine.

We have the potential to fill our minds with love.  Or we can choose to indulge the ego and fill it with fear.

And since our thoughts are creative, when we fill our minds with fear thoughts, what are we creating in our lives?  Problems, of course!

So what are some good practical ways to end the perpetual problem cycle in our lives?

Well, first we can choose to cast out fear thoughts whenever we become aware of them.  This takes a great deal of strength of character and determination, but it can be done.  Thinking is habit and habits can be changed.  It is within our realm of power to insist on only allowing worthy thoughts in our minds.  And as our thoughts become cleansed, we create less chaos in our lives.  If we focus on loving thoughts and thoughts of gratitude, beautiful things show up in our lives.

The second way to reduce problems in our lives is to release the habit of judging others (see here, here and here.)  When we judge others, we are damaging ourselves.  We get what we give.  It's just how things work.  When we view others harshly, we view ourselves harshly too.  And that creates guilt down deep in our subconscious mind.  Even worse, when we have guilt, we believe that we should be punished.  And how do we punish ourselves?  Why, with problems, of course.

Just as with clearing our minds of fear thinking, ending the habit of judging is challenging.  It takes work and commitment, but it can be done!  Go cold turkey on judging today.  Just stop it.  (See here.)  Stop creating guilt and begin to create peace.

Finally, the third and most effective way to significantly reduce the problems in your life is through forgiveness.  Start by forgiving every problem you have in your present and every person that is even vaguely connected to these problems.  Once you've taken care of today's forgiveness needs, begin to systematically dig into your past and forgive all the hurts, wounds, anger and upset you have from your past problems.  (See here.)  And then go to work on forgiving your mental blocks and false beliefs  (see here.) Again, this may seem like a lot of work, and it is.  However, forgiveness dissipates problems.  As you forgive and release the world you have created, you will have fewer and fewer problems.

It's your choice to make.  Problems or happiness?

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Forgive Yourself Through the Act of Forgiving Others

Forgiveness is the means by which I learn I have done nothing to forgive.

When we forgive others we acknowledge that everyone's true nature is God's nature. Of course, living on Earth, many of us lose sight of our true nature.  We forget who we really are and we slip into attack behaviors.  It happens to all of us on occasion and some more frequently.

We attack others because we feel guilty.  We all have huge stores of sub-conscious guilt that we're not really aware of .  We project our own guilt onto other folks because it helps us feel better about ourselves.

If you don't believe me about the guilt, just try this experiment.  Sometime when you're alone, ask to be shown your pain and anger.  Just give yourself permission to scream.  You'll be amazed at what comes out of your throat.

We are all hurting and angry under the surface.  We live in fear but we suppress it in order to function in our daily lives.  However, when we begin to forgive others, this fear and guilt begins to dissipate.  This is because as we learn to see and know the higher truth about the other people in our world, we slowly begin to be convinced about our own higher truth.

Not only that, but what we give out comes back to us.  When we give out attack, we are attacked.  When we give out forgiveness, we are forgiven.  When we give love and acceptance.  We are loved and accepted.

Give forgiveness a chance to heal your world.  Try it.  You'll like it!

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Are you really, truly happy?

When I was in my early 30’s I joined a book club.  One meeting, I made the remark to the girls that it seemed like all the books we had been reading were filled with  angst.  “Where are the happy people and the happy stories?” I wondered. 

I was surprised that my book club friends all looked at me blankly.  “Sue, the world is not about happiness”, they said.  I was shocked.  “Is that true?  Aren’t all of you happy?”  Now, this was a group that included successful career women.  Many had corporate husbands with good paychecks, lovely houses, and small children with nannies to care for them.  On the surface, every one of us looked like the epitome of happiness. 

Not so, however!  As we went around the room, one by one each woman confessed that she did not actually feel happy much of the time.  Rather, they spent most of their lives fighting to navigate their monstrous “to- do” lists, to keep their refrigerators stocked with food, to get ahead and make something of themselves at work, to keep organized households, to provide for their children and their husbands needs. 

Every one of them was secretly bitterly disappointed that their husbands did not love them in the way that they had once hoped they would be cherished and loved, that their bosses and co-workers did not see them as shining saviors for the companies they worked for, that they struggled with feeling unconnected and distant from their closest friends, and were heart-broken to find themselves physically separated from parents and families who often lived significant distances away.

Their lives were a constant state of worry, inadequacy and disappointment.  Each one battled daily with fears of rejection and abandonment.  Each one lived a surface life of success and happiness but underneath resided a deep-seated terror that the gig was about to be up.  Each lived with a terrible and secret fear that their real truth would somehow rise to the surface, and the whole structure they had worked tirelessly to create would shatter to the ground.

The truth is that when the lights go out in the middle of the night and we’re alone with our thoughts, every one of us feels achingly lonely, remorseful and terrified.

What Most of us Feel is Really Guilt.   However our denial of guilt causes us to run out into the world chasing accomplishments, laurels, activities, possessions and all the symbols of happiness. In reality, on the deep level of truth, most of us are simply not happy.  We feel guilty because we are living separately from God.  And clinging to these trappings, activities, and illusions only moves us further and further from living with God.  It’s the pride of self our egos cling to that separates us from knowing our true relationship with God. 

It’s by our own choice that we live in unhappiness.   This is because the “world” is actually structured so that we can be happy.  There is only one thing that we need to do to attain it.  And this one thing is forgiveness. 

In my book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness, there are many easy to use processes that will help you to forgive anybody and any event in your life, current or past.   Develop a daily habit of forgiveness and watch your life change from fear to love.

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Even though on an intellectual level you “know” that “you’re perfect, whole & complete” – do you doubt it?

Jennifer Hadley asked this question in one of her daily emails.  Most of us do have big emotional doubts, even though we are intellectually learning truths.  In order to turn what we are learning intellectually into knowing, however, we must do our forgiveness work. 

The reason we doubt is because we all have massive guilt in our subconscious minds.

 Each time we forgive, the Holy Spirit goes into our subconscious and removes a little of that guilt.  As we forgive repeatedly over time, our storehouse of guilt (which, of course, is the source of most of the suffering we experience here on earth) gets lessoned. 

This is why I look forward to my forgiveness opportunities.  Even though I know that the "classroom" of life may occasionally bring me painful experiences, when I forgive them and truly accept my world, I am offered peace instead. 

Forgiveness is the way we turn doubt and fear into love. 

God is the Love in Which I Forgive--Workbook Lesson 46

Many of us were brought up believing that we must ask God to forgive us.  However, God doesn't forgive!!  Does this idea surprise you?

God never judges and therefore he never finds it necessary to forgive.  I find this message to be of great comfort. 

"God does not forgive because He has never condemned. And there must be condemnation before forgiveness is necessary. Forgiveness is the great need of this world, but that is because it is a world of illusions. Those who forgive are thus releasing themselves from illusions, while those who withhold forgiveness are binding themselves to them. As you condemn only yourself, so do you forgive only yourself." --A Course in Miracles, Workbook, Lesson 46

 As our creator, God always knows his own truth about each of us.  We are perfect.  We are only good. We are love always and everywhere. 

Since God made us exactly in his own image, we can only be these things.  If we judge ourselves to be anything other than this, it is only our own self-created illusion.  We perceive that we are not perfect and therefore need God's forgiveness.

When we forgive others, we are actually acknowledging their truth--that there is nothing to judge them for, because they are also created in perfection.  They are only good.  They are love always and everywhere. 

The reason why it is so essential that we forgive others and see their truth is that as we see their truth, we actually begin to convince ourselves of our own truth.  If they are perfect, then we must be too.

"Yet although God does not forgive, His Love is nevertheless the basis of forgiveness. Fear condemns and love forgives. Forgiveness thus undoes what fear has produced, returning the mind to the awareness of God. For this reason, forgiveness can truly be called salvation. It is the means by which illusions disappear."  --Lesson 46 

Lesson 46 is the first place in the workbook that the concept of forgiveness is explored in any depth. Personally, I love the beautiful safety of knowing that I never need feel that I must ask for God's forgiveness.  Asking implies that it is possible that forgiveness might be withheld. 

Our fear of exactly that is the root of all of our problems.  We all live with deep and massive unconscious fear and guilt.  Our worry that God may disapprove of us, withhold his love from us, or feel angry toward us, causes tremendous and constant anxiety in our minds.  Here, in this very first Workbook message about forgiveness, we are being reassured that we need not worry about being judged by God.  God has only love and support to offer us. 

"I cannot be guilty because I am a Son of God.
I have already been forgiven.
No fear is possible in a mind beloved of God.
There is no need to attack because love has forgiven me."--Lesson 46