I See You

I stumbled across this section in my reading of The Way of Mastery this morning:

"All minds are joined, and I see not a stranger before me, but one who walks as I walk, who feels as I feel, who longs as I long, who is humbled as I am humbled, who prays for peace as I have prayed.  

Therefore I will give them what they seek.  And in that giving, I receive it."  Way of Mastery p. 122

This is how forgiveness begins.  It occurs in the moment when we see others as being the same as ourselves.

All minds are joined and therefore, in many ways, they are, actually, us.

I found myself contemplating the line from the quote above, "therefore I will give them what they seek".  Just what do they seek?  Well, just as I do, everyone ultimately seeks love.  Everyone longs to be loved, to feel love and to give love in return.  It's our basic nature.  Love is what we are and we all seek to return to it.

What makes us feel loved?  Being loved is being recognized.  We feel loved when others acknowledge our existence, our worth, our truth.  When others accept and acknowledge us, we feel valued.  We all simply want to be seen.

In the movie Avatar, I love the way they say hello to each other. They stop and face each other and look directly into one another's eyes, "I see you."

I see you, is what it's all about.  Seeing and accepting the existence of another human being is the act of extending love.  Forgiveness happens in this moment. The miracle happens in this moment.  When we shift our thinking from fear to love, from confusion and opposition to acknowledgement, forgiveness happens.

We are simply knowing the truth, that ultimately we are all the same, despite the crazy things we all do here, despite the crazy dreams we follow in this insane 3D world we call earth.  At our core, in our joined minds, we are all, each and every one of us, simply love.

"Forgiveness is an act through which you learn what Love is, that carries you into a transcendence of the world.  Sharing only loving thoughts, supportive thoughts -- as you look gently upon the Christ in another is a way that takes you into the transcendence of the world.  Looking upon all things of this world and seeing their perfect harmlessness, their lack of ability to constrain you or harm you or imprison you, is a way that takes you beyond the world." --Way of Mastery p. 127-8

Our Job is to Clean Up Our Minds

Removing the blocks to the awareness of love's presence"  --A Course in Miracles (Intro 1: 6,7) 

This is the goal A Course in Miracles defines for us in its introduction.  It is one of the very first statements in a book of over 1300 pages.  What does it mean?  What are these blocks to love?

Blocks are created through our unforgiveness.  They are the things we judge, what we are unable to accept.

"Your work is not to seek and find love.  It is merely to turn within to discover every obstacle that you have created to its presence, and to offer that obstacle to the great dissolver of dreams, the grace of the Holy Spirit."--Way of Mastery p. 72

So much of what we have filled our minds with is not love. Our memories, our subconscious mind and our current thinking is filled with hurt, pain, anger, judgment, upset, guilt and every form of negative thinking.  

Until we remove this negative thinking, these blockages, these obstacles, we are unable to allow ourselves to accept the love that God is always offering to us, in every moment, in every place.  We do not allow ourselves to see the truth of God's love...

We actually believe in sin and punishment.  Even though we know that God created us in his own image and that therefore we are perfect.

We actually believe in our own lack of worth.  Even though we know that God loves us infinitely.

We actually believe in anger, victimhood, revenge and hate.  Even though we know that God created every single one of us in love and that we are all one with him and with each other.

Our job is to clean up our minds.  We have to sort out all this wrong, emotional, fear based thinking.  We have to search out the blockages, the obstacles, and turn them over to Spirit.

How do we do this?  With forgiveness, of course.  It's a process and it doesn't happen overnight  We have to deliberately seek out every part of our mind where we are blocking love.  And that means digging around in our pasts, in our subconscious and really and truly examining the way we think in the present.

It's important not to get overwhelmed by the task ahead and to keep our eyes on the prize.  And the prize for doing this work is huge.  Actually, it's everything.  It's everything you have always wanted and not known how to get.  It's why you're here.  It's what you seek.

Once we have done this work of removing blockages, we will be able to receive love.

I See Only the Radiance

"For when I look upon you, I see not the very momentary dreams that you seem to think are lasting so long.  I see only the radiance of that which the Father has extended out of Love.  I see only that which has neither beginning nor ending.  I see only that which knows neither birth nor death.  I see only that which has no limitations.  I see only that--the light of which is already extended throughout all dimensions and all universes."--The Way of Mastery p. 70

When we are forgiving this must be our thought process.  We must look beyond this dream world where people behave badly and hurt one another.  We look to our higher truth.  We go into our minds and know the radiance of one another.  We know the loving intentions of our Father, the creator who created each one of us in his own image.  We are simply and truly only Love.  That is our truth and that is the truth of our trespasser.  What you see here now in front of you in this 3D illusory world is only a moment in time.  It's not the higher truth.  Look up.  Look beyond.  See only the radiance.  That is the place of forgiveness.

What Really Occurs When You Forgive?

I am preparing this week to lead a discussion group class on the third chapter from "The Way of Mastery".  The topic of this chapter is forgiveness.  I have read this chapter over and over, many many times in the past, but I find that each time I read it, I get new lessons.  This little section below jumped out at me this morning and I had to share it with you:

"What really occurs when you forgive?

You are a conduit of energy.  To the degree that the conduit is in working order, the energy can flow so radiantly that the conduit actually becomes transparent.  That is, it no longer blocks.  There is no barrier or limit to the Light.  

When you judge, it is as though you contracted and made the walls of the conduit smaller, just like building up rust in your pipes.  And the flow becomes less and less.

As you forgive judgments, it is as though the rust in the pipes is dissolving.  It is as though the walls of the pipe that are carrying the liquid of God's Love begin to expand and become thinner and thinner and more transparent.

Judgment is contraction.

Forgiveness is relaxation, peace, trust and faith." --Way of Mastery p. 33  

I really do feel this.  When I am in a state of un-forgiveness or judgment, I feel a tightness in my chest, a density to my physical body, a heaviness.  However, after I forgive, I feel light, happy, comfortable and easy in both my body and mind.  And the more I work at forgiveness, the more I experience this.

I experience the most happiness when I am doing the most forgiveness work.  When I am truly practicing what I call a "forgiveness lifestyle", I find that I almost feel like I am walking on air.

A "forgiveness lifestyle" means that every night before I go to sleep I scan my mind to see if there is anything that happened that day that I can forgive. This is what I call forgiving the present  (see here for more).

It also means that I am constantly alert to the workings of my mind, looking to see if any old memories of hurt, anger or upset rise to the surface.  When I do, I forgive and release them (using techniques you can find in my book, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness").  This is forgiving the past (see here for more).

It also means that I am constantly thinking, ruminating if you will, looking deep into my mind in search of the false beliefs I have created in my mind as a result of these past memories.  False beliefs are beliefs such as:  "I'm not worthy." "I'm not love-able."  "I don't deserve to have good in my life."  "I am a bad girl."  "I am stupid."  "Nobody likes me."  "I am ugly."  "I am poor."  "I am sick."  (see here for more on understanding and forgiving false beliefs).

There are many more false beliefs but these are a few key examples.  If we are to really and truly forgive ourselves, we need to dig up these false beliefs and root them out of our minds with our forgiveness.  This is self-forgiveness, of course.

Forgiveness is mental and physical freedom.  It opens the door to inner peace.  Without it, we simple can not have peace.  However, with it comes the peace that leads to true happiness.

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"All events are neutral. They merely provide you with a chance to choose love."

As a student of A Course in Miracles, I like to look at life here as a classroom and I try to use those times in my life when I feel hurt or angry as opportunities to learn and grow.  

"What if you merely chose the "insane" way, according to the world, of looking at one who has just done that act as a brother or sister who is crying out for help and healing?  What if you chose to look upon them as one who does not know how to live in this world without being of this world, who does not know the way to self-forgiveness, who does not know the truth of the Light that lives within them, and who does not recognize their great power to create whatever they want in a way that is not hurtful to anyone?  What if you chose to look upon them with compassion rather than reactivity?"--Way of Master p. 30

When something brings me pain, I try to realize that I have drawn this event toward me so that I can learn and grow from it.  It is in the act of forgiveness and acceptance that I become more magnificent.  My forgiveness opportunities are really the gems of my life.  They are my gifts to myself because in each one I can choose to become smaller and less effective in my world, or I can choose to open myself up to the reality of my truth as a glorious and powerful source of love and healing in this world.

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It Takes One to Know One

"There is nothing you can be aware of in the energy of another that you have not known in yourself.  There is nothing another can say or do, or even imagine themselves capable of saying or doing that you have not also known.  Again it takes one to know one.  When you perceive another acting out of hostility or fear, the only way you can recognize it is because you have been there."  --Way of Mastery p. 27

Some people just push our buttons.  That's how we like to think of it.  But what is really happening when we feel activated by the behaviors and attitudes of others?

When others annoy or irritate us, we feel that way because we are actually annoyed or irritated at the parts of ourselves we recognize in them.   Say, perhaps, we watch another person acting selfishly.  We identify their behavior as selfishness.  We are judging them for behaving badly.  However, the only reason we know what that behavior is about is because we ourselves have known selfishness in our pasts.  Perhaps we are even occasionally selfish in our present, too.  This behavior repels us in ourselves and that is why we feel put off by it when we see it in others.

We like to judge others because that puts the blame outside of ourselves.  It gives us the perception that they are wrong, or bad, or too this or too that--but that we ourselves are good, right and perfect.  We project our own weaknesses onto the world outside of ourselves and this allows us to feel better about who we are.  However, this behavior is only contributing to our feelings of separation.  

Again, it takes one to know one.  Or as Colin Tipping likes to say, "If you spot it, you got it."  The next time you find yourself judging someone else, take a moment to look deeply into yourself.  Ask yourself, "Where in my own mind do these same attitudes exist?"  "Where in my life have I acted out in this same way?"

And then let your judgments go.  Release and forgive.  It's so much easier to forgive others when we see that they are merely doing the same things we do.  We're all human.  We all slip up.  We're each here, simply learning our lessons.  Give others the freedom and support to learn their lessons in their own way, in their own time and place, without our interference or judgment.  This is what they need.  This is what we need.


Switch from fear and anger to love, understanding and support.   Remember that as we forgive them, we are forgiving ourselves.  Yes, you heard me right.  When we forgive someone else for behaving selfishly, we are actually forgiving ourselves for our own selfish behavior.  This is why forgiveness is essential if we want to be happy.  We can only forgive ourselves as we forgive others.

 

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It All Leads to Acceptance

"What if the very life you are living, and each and every experience that is coming to you now was being directly sent to you of your Father because your Father knows what is necessary to unravel within your consciousness to allow you to awaken?  What if the very things you are resisting are the very stepping stones to your homecoming?  What if you achieved a maturity along this pathway in which you were finally willing to let things be just as they are?" --The Way of Mastery p. 7

Is it possible that we could just trust the world we see around us, knowing that we don't know what anything is really for, that there is a larger plan unfurling in our lives, that everything that happens is for our higher good?

 

If we just could come to forgive our perceptions of this world, our interpretations, our labeling, our judgments.   We look at everything we see and we decide that it is good or bad, right or wrong, beautiful or ugly.  Why can't we just recognize that what we see simply just "is"?  For it is when we are finally able to accept what "is" as the way of things, that we are able to release the resistance.  And this is where the peace comes in.

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Why is this Bugging Me?

"Therefore, in truth, understand well.  Forgiveness is essential.  What has not been forgiven in others, has not been forgiven in you.  But not by a God who sits outside of you, for He never judges.  What you have not forgiven in another or in the world is but a reflection of what you carry within as a burden that you cannot forgive of yourself."  --The Way of Mastery p.26

The next time you find yourself irritated with someone, ask yourself "Why is this bugging me?"  We are almost always most activated by those aspects we dislike in our own character.   Examining our irritations with others is a great way to learn what we need to forgive about ourselves.

For example, I hate a bossy know-it-all.  This is because these are repressed characteristics of my own personality.  I am always struggling to keep them at bay in my self and when I see someone who has let them loose, it just really irritates me!

Forgiveness is a chance to take a good long look in the mirror.  As Colin Tipping likes to say, "If you spot it, you got it!"

Sometimes it's hard to recognize yourself in another's abhorrent behavior.  Keep looking and you'll find yourself there.  It's not always obvious. You might say, "I am upset at a man who murdered his wife, but I'm not a murderer".  Yes, but do you ever have murderous thoughts?  Do you ever wish that someone who annoys you would just be gone?

I am learning to bring these "unattractive" elements of myself to the light of forgiveness.  I can only love others when I am capable of truly loving myself and loving myself means that I love and accept all parts of me.

In The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford recommends that we not only forgive our most unattractive characteristics but that we actually learn to accept and even celebrate them.  They can become our strengths.

For example,  my tendency towards bossy know-it-all-ness is the same characteristic which enables me to be a good teacher.  Yes, I have to reign it in and keep it under control, but if I wasn't such a bossy know-it-all, I would never have the courage and confidence to teach.  It's when I enfold my bossy know-it-all-ness in love that I am at my very best.

The universe serves us up the lessons we need the most on a platter.  It seems that everywhere I look there is another bossy know-it-all.  This is because this is a lesson I need to repeat often.  Importantly, as I forgive the bossy know-it-alls in my world, I forgive this same characteristic in myself.  And the more I forgive myself, the more I come to peace.  

How to Reduce The Guilt in Our Lives

"For to forgive means to choose to release another from the perceptions you have been projecting upon them.  It is therefore, an act of forgiving one's self of one's projections".  --The Way of Mastery p. 25

All things are neutral.  All people, all events, all experiences, all words ... all of it is, simply, neutral.

We are the ones that put our own personal spin on everything.  We are the perceivers and we project our own opinions onto all we encounter.

We decide whether what we see in the world around us is "good" or "bad".  We decide whether what we see is "beautiful" or "ugly", "interesting" or "uninteresting", "right" or "wrong".

And yet, everything in our worlds, simply is.

When we see something and decide it is "bad", we are creating a judgment about it.  This judgment will, ultimately, have to be forgiven.  But before we forgive it, it will cause us much pain.  What we give out comes back to us.  When we judge others harshly, we will suffer.  Judging always leads to feelings of guilt.  Sometimes we are acutely aware of the guilt and sometimes we repress it.  But judging always creates guilt, even if it is only in our sub-consciousness.  And guilt, especially sub-conscious guilt, causes us to feel restless, unhappy, empty and deeply dis-satisfied.

"Each time that you judge anything or anyone, you have literally elicited guilt within yourself.  Because there is a place within you, yet still, that knows the perfect purity of your brother and sister, and sees quite clearly that all things within the human realm are either the extension of love or a cry for help and healing."  --Way of Master p. 25

Why not skip all the pain and upset and just learn to accept everything as it is?  If we don't judge it, we won't need to forgive it, and more importantly we won't need to forgive ourselves.  Acceptance of everything in our world is the only way to create inner peace.

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Forgiveness is an Expression of the Soul's Deep Desire to BE Forgiven

"When you judge, you have moved out of alignment with what is true.  You have decreed that the innocent are not innocent.  And if you would judge another as being without innocence, you have already declared that this is true about you!  Therefore, to practice forgiveness actually cultivates the quality of consciousness in which you finally come to forgive yourself.  And it is indeed the forgiven who remember their God."  --Way of Mastery  p. 26

It is only when we come to a point that we are able to understand that everyone is forgivable, and that we are indeed putting this universal forgiveness into practice, that we begin to believe that we ourselves are worthy of forgiveness.

After all, it's only good logic.  If every one of God's Children is innocent, then I myself, being also a Child of God, must be an innocent, too.

The problem is that down deep in our sub-consciousness, we struggle to believe this.  We have mountains of guilt.  We believe we're not worthy.  We believe we're unlovable.  We believe that we are "bad", that we have sinned and that we should be punished.  Removing the guilt from our sub-conscious minds can only be accomplished through our own acts of forgiveness toward others.

This is a process that takes some time.  We can begin by forgiving any trespasses we experience today. Once we create a habit of forgiving all of each day's hurts, we can begin to go into our pasts and release old grievances.  This stage requires much intense soul searching and quietude as we look deep into our minds to discover the wounds that lurk therein. Finally, in the third stage of forgiveness we can begin to forgive the conditions we see in the world around us.  We begin to forgive the war, famine, cruelty and selfishness that plays out on a world-wide scale.

As we move forward in our forgiveness, we will see a pattern emerging.  What we are most offended by in others is actually something that we find reflected in our own consciousness.  We fear the murderer, however, we come to know that there is so much anger deep within our own sub-consciousness that we are actually, ourselves, capable of murder.  We fear the dictator, but ultimately come to see the bossiness that resides within our own personality.  We fear the greedy ones, but we ourselves often take what we want.

"Therefore, in truth, understand well.  Forgiveness is essential.  What has not been forgiven in others, has not been forgiven in you.  But not by a God who sits outside of you, for He never judges.  What you have not forgiven in another or in the world is but a reflection of what you carry within as a burden that you cannot forgive of yourself."  --Way of Master p.26

As we forgive the world around us, our consciousness begins to purify.  Our own thoughts of fear, anger, greed, rejection and envy begin to release.  Our minds are cleansed.

This is where our happiness begins.  As we are freed of the tormenting thoughts and beliefs that our minds contain, we come to experience inner peace.

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All Events Are Neutral

It is the spin we put on things that creates hurt and pain in our minds.  The one thing that we can control is our own thoughts.  We can choose how to view the events that transpire in our lives.

The insanity that you experience as your pain, your suffering, your seeking and your dramas comes only from your mistaken choice to become identified with what arises in the field of your awareness.  You, therefore, lose the sight of innocence. For all events are perfectly neutral, and you are free to see them any way you want. --The Way of Mastery p.4

No matter what happens in our lives we can choose to simply watch it unfold.  We can experience it without defining it as good or bad.  It just is. There is no need for us to decide that, "It is a terrible painful thing" and that, "Oh, it hurts so very, very badly!"

Our ego wants us to believe the insane spin it puts on everything in our worlds.  It judges everything it sees.  It will tell us that these judgments are its' important contribution to our lives, that they help us navigate the minefield of this world.  The ego wants us to believe that the world is a minefield and that without it, the ego, to guide us, we would forever be stepping on mines. The ego wants us to believe we need it.  However, the world is not a minefield, but a MIND-FIELD.  There are no mines.  There is only our perception of danger, difficulty and pain.  This comes from our egos.

When we allow ourselves to be with what is without judging it as right or wrong, or difficult or easy, or happy or sad, we are able to find peace with whatever is happening.  Nothing is as bad as we think it is!  When we drop our judgments about the world we find that things only just are.  It is all actually just fine.  And the more we think like this, the more we are at peace.  The more we experience peace, the happier we become.

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