Sometimes, when feelings are recently raw, it's difficult to forgive right away...and that's okay. It's okay to let a little time heal over the pain before getting down and dirty with the real forgiveness work. Sometimes we just don't have the strength to face it right away and we know that if we even so much as try to, we'll melt down or be unable to do whatever it is we have to do to get through the day.
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Raw feelings can be very painful. It's actually a good thing to honor our feelings and sit with them a bit. I always allow myself to experience the sadness or the anger for awhile. Processing and working through feelings is a good thing (And, by the way, we're not going to stay in this stage for very long anyway. In a little while, we'll be doing our usual forgiveness work.)
While we're feeling raw, however, we can help hasten the healing while we're mentally shoring up the strength to do the real work. When we are utterly broken and wounded and obsessing about what happened, we can always practice turning all our thoughts, hurts and fears over to Spirit as often as possible. I like to just give those thoughts over whenever they come into my mind. Just saying the words, "Holy Spirit, I am giving this ________ over to you", is all we really have to do. I'm pretty visual, so sometimes I like to picture a beautiful white and shining marble altar that I can lay my burdens down on. Once I've placed my burdens on the altar they are surrounded by white light and dissolved.
I also find that simply saying the words, "I forgive you, I release you, I bless you with love" repeatedly (as one would an affirmation) helps alleviate some of the pain. This is not my final forgiveness work, of course, but it is an easy start and helps me to ease into the forgiveness.
Once I actually start to do the real forgiveness, I find occasionally that I will do one of my forgiveness process and complete the forgiveness, only to find myself feeling utterly angry and hurt all over again a few hours later. When this happens, I just repeat the forgiveness. This can go on for days and weeks and sometimes, if the wound is big enough, years. Again, that's okay. We can only give it our best effort. Our intention to heal is what's important here.
Also, asking Spirit to help us turn our feelings of anger, hurt and fear to love will often help us to make important progress.
There's no denying it, life can be painful at times and no-one escapes this. However, supporting ourselves with understanding and acceptance as we go about the job of healing and forgiving is the fastest way back to peace.
Raw feelings can be very painful. It's actually a good thing to honor our feelings and sit with them a bit. I always allow myself to experience the sadness or the anger for awhile. Processing and working through feelings is a good thing (And, by the way, we're not going to stay in this stage for very long anyway. In a little while, we'll be doing our usual forgiveness work.)
While we're feeling raw, however, we can help hasten the healing while we're mentally shoring up the strength to do the real work. When we are utterly broken and wounded and obsessing about what happened, we can always practice turning all our thoughts, hurts and fears over to Spirit as often as possible. I like to just give those thoughts over whenever they come into my mind. Just saying the words, "Holy Spirit, I am giving this ________ over to you", is all we really have to do. I'm pretty visual, so sometimes I like to picture a beautiful white and shining marble altar that I can lay my burdens down on. Once I've placed my burdens on the altar they are surrounded by white light and dissolved.
I also find that simply saying the words, "I forgive you, I release you, I bless you with love" repeatedly (as one would an affirmation) helps alleviate some of the pain. This is not my final forgiveness work, of course, but it is an easy start and helps me to ease into the forgiveness.
Once I actually start to do the real forgiveness, I find occasionally that I will do one of my forgiveness process and complete the forgiveness, only to find myself feeling utterly angry and hurt all over again a few hours later. When this happens, I just repeat the forgiveness. This can go on for days and weeks and sometimes, if the wound is big enough, years. Again, that's okay. We can only give it our best effort. Our intention to heal is what's important here.
Also, asking Spirit to help us turn our feelings of anger, hurt and fear to love will often help us to make important progress.
There's no denying it, life can be painful at times and no-one escapes this. However, supporting ourselves with understanding and acceptance as we go about the job of healing and forgiving is the fastest way back to peace.
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