How to Forgive When You’re Still Hopping Mad

Even though we know that forgiving sooner rather than later is best for everyone involved, sometimes it’s just hard to do.

Sometimes, even though we know we should forgive, we simply can’t — at least not right away.

You replay what happened.
You think about the person.
And instantly, the steam starts to rise.

Your body tightens.
Your thoughts race.
You feel so angry you can barely think straight.

So what do you do when you know you should be forgiving… but you’re still hopping mad?

When Forgiveness Feels Impossible

Let’s be honest: sometimes forgiveness feels completely distasteful.

You’re not ready to “be the bigger person.”
You’re not ready to feel compassionate.
You’re not ready to soften.

And you definitely don’t want to emotionally engage with what they did or how it made you feel — because that just fuels the fire.

Here’s the good news:

There is a painless little thing you can do that takes less than a minute, requires almost no emotional effort, and still moves forgiveness forward in a very real way.

It’s a little weird that it works.
But it does.

A Forgiveness Shortcut (Yes, Even When You’re Angry)

You don’t have to feel forgiving.
You don’t have to mean it yet.
You don’t have to excuse anything.

You simply say these five lines:

You are Spirit.
Whole and innocent.
I forgive you.
I release you.
I bless you with love.

That’s it.

You can say them quietly in your mind.
You can say them through clenched teeth.
You can say them while still feeling annoyed, hurt, frustrated, or furious.

You don’t even have to emotionally engage with them.

How to Use This When the Anger Keeps Coming Back

Here’s how it works in real life:

Every time you think of the person and feel the anger surge again —
every time the memory pops up —
every time your body reacts —

you simply repeat the five lines.

Again.
And again.
And again.

Each time you do, it releases a little steam.

You may still feel some heat at first.
You may still be quietly seething.

But something subtle shifts.

You don’t spiral as far.
You recover faster.
You return to yourself more quickly.

As the days go by, you’ll notice that your intense feelings begin to recede. When you think about what happened, you feel more like you again — less hijacked by emotion.

Letting Forgiveness Work in the Background

Eventually, one of two things will happen:

You may find that you’re ready to do deeper forgiveness work with this person.

Or — just as often — you’ll suddenly realize that the anger, hurt, frustration, helplessness, or sense of victimization is simply… gone.

This little quiet forgiveness prayer will have done its work without you having to force anything.

Your only job was your willingness to say it.

Why This Works So Well

Perhaps this prayer works because it doesn’t ask you to excuse anyone’s behavior.

It doesn’t ask you to pretend nothing happened.
It doesn’t ask you to bypass your feelings.

It simply asks you to acknowledge who the other person really is — beyond the behavior — and what their highest potential is.

And in doing that, it gently frees you.

Forgiveness doesn’t always begin with warmth.
Sometimes it begins with willingness.
Sometimes it begins while you’re still mad.

And that’s okay.

This simple practice will carry you the rest of the way.

Want to go deeper into forgiveness?

Explore how forgiveness reconnects us to divine compassion in Unblocking Our Connection to Love.

My book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness,  offers heartfelt guidance, spiritual tools, and real-life practices to help make forgiveness easier than you might think.

Let daily affirmations support you too — discover the Forgiveness Metta Card Deck  for a gentle morning practice of peace, release, and healing.

Want to receive free weekly forgiveness coaching emails?
Sign up to receive insights, tools, and inspiration to deepen your forgiveness practice →
Sign up here

Let these tools light your path — because forgiveness sets you free.
— Sue Pipal

The Hard Work — Forgiving ICE

For those of us who practice forgiveness regularly, it often settles into a familiar routine: forgiving the same person over and over again.

That person is usually someone we spend a lot of time with. A spouse. A family member. A friend. A coworker.

People’s quirky or unconscious behavior can be annoying. And yes, it can be challenging to forgive them sometimes, especially when they do things that cause suffering for us.

But honestly, this kind of forgiveness is fairly run-of-the-mill compared to what is going on in the larger world around us today.

Right now, there is all kinds of “big” and frightening behavior that calls for forgiveness. Some of it requires what I would call expert-level forgiveness.

And for many of us in the United States, over the past months, we have been given a true Black Diamond assignment:

Forgiving ICE.

What We Are Witnessing

We have watched agents mistakenly haul citizens into custody.
We have seen families disrupted.
Children arrested.
People sent to war-torn African countries where they are promptly jailed.
Due process ignored.
Legal protections removed.
Green card holders detained.

People disappearing, while families have no idea where they are.

And now, in some cases, we are witnessing protesters — people within their lawful rights to observe and record — being shot and killed.

It is frightening.
It is terrible.
And we are all watching it.

As a nation, we are uncomfortable. Upset. Tense. Traumatized. Confused. Angry. Heartbroken.

So the question becomes:

What do we do with all of this?
How do we even begin to process it?

What Will Not Heal This

First and foremost, anger, fear, and hatred are not the solution.

In fact, they are the greatest hindrance to any real solution.

They poison our minds.
They harden our hearts.
They block our connection to Spirit.
They separate us from our own peace.

And as shocking as it may sound…

We must forgive ICE.

Why Forgiveness Feels So Wrong Here

The idea of forgiving major trespassers is often completely contrary to logic.

It feels like we are rewarding bad behavior.
Like giving the school bully a hall pass.
Like excusing cruelty.

It almost feels irresponsible.

But forgiveness is not a reward we hand out to “bad guys.”

It is something far deeper than that.

What Forgiveness Really Is

Forgiveness is a spiritual act.

It is how we affirm our love for all of humanity.
It is how we recognize the great Oneness of the collective.
It is how we stay connected to God.

It is how we express gratitude for the gift of life and love given to us by a Creator who made each one of us in His image — and loves us all equally.

Even when what we do here on psycho planet looks, to human eyes, like “bad behavior.”

In God’s mind, it is not “bad.”

It is unconscious.

It is free will being exercised without awareness.

God does not judge.
God is always love.

When People Forget Who They Are

Sometimes we come here and forget who we are.

We forget our innate goodness.
We forget that we are cherished.
We forget that we are safe in God’s love.

We get caught up in fear, power, control, systems, and ego.
We forget our truth.

And then we do selfish things.
Stupid things.
Harmful things.

Nobody is denying that real suffering is caused.

But what is undeniable is this:

That suffering must be forgiven.

Not excused.
Not ignored.
Not justified.

Forgiven.

Seeing With God’s Eyes

God sees the highest potential in all of us.
He does not fixate on our worst moments.
He does not define us by our lapses.

And that is what we are being asked to learn to do.

We can know that certain behaviors are wrong.
We can work to change unjust systems.
We can vote. Advocate. Speak. Act.

And at the same time…

We must forgive.

Because forgiveness is how we stay free.

Why We Must Do This for Ourselves

When we hold hatred, rage, and bitterness in our hearts, we suffer.

We lose access to Spirit.
We lose clarity.
We lose peace.
We lose joy.

Our nervous systems become overwhelmed.
Our minds become trapped in fear loops.

Forgiveness is not about letting injustice continue.

It is about refusing to let injustice destroy our souls.

(If you’d like to explore how forgiveness restores our connection to love, you might find this helpful: Unblocking Our Connection to Love.)

The Spiritual Challenge of Our Time

This is not easy work.

This is advanced forgiveness.

This is where spiritual teachings become real — or remain theoretical.

It is easy to forgive people who apologize.
It is harder to forgive people who don’t think they’ve done anything wrong.
It is hardest to forgive institutions that cause widespread harm.

And yet…

This is exactly where forgiveness is most powerful.

Our Invitation

We are being invited to see deeper.
To love wider.
To forgive harder.

To hold this truth:

Every person involved — even when unconscious — is still created by God.
Still loved.
Still capable of awakening.
Still more than their worst actions.

We can work for justice.
We can pray for change.
We can support the vulnerable.

And we can forgive.

All at once.

That is the hard work.

And that is the holy work.

(For practical guidance on how to forgive in difficult situations, see A Simple Forgiveness Prayer.)

A Simple Forgiveness Prayer

 Sometimes forgiveness feels complicated, but it doesn’t have to be.

This simple three-line prayer can open your heart, soften your judgments, and reconnect you to the truth of who we all really are.

I see you as you are.
I accept you as you are.
I send you love and blessings.

These words are simple, but their meaning reaches deep.

I see you as you are

In my mind, I allow you to stand before me.
I see your humanness.
Your vulnerability.
Your fears, your foibles, your blind spots.
All the places where you can be difficult.

But I also see beyond all that.

I see the higher truth of who you are.

You were created by God — and God creates using only one substance: Himself.
His energy. His essence. Love.

Think of divine love like an endless current of electricity, flowing freely until something blocks it. That flow is our Source. That flow is our truth. That flow is the God-substance from which we are made.

Here in this earthly experience, people forget who they really are.
They disconnect. They block the current.
And when the flow of love is blocked, behavior gets messy.

But none of that changes the truth of their identity.

When I say I see you as you are, I am choosing to see the whole truth — not just the personality in front of me, but the divine light behind it.

I accept you as you are

We can accept people as they are — not because their behavior is perfect, but because the person underneath the behavior is still holy.

The only real “sin” anyone has is forgetfulness:
forgetting their true source, forgetting who created them, forgetting the love they were made from.

And honestly, we all do it.
Some more than others.
Some more dramatically than others.
But every one of us slips into separation thinking at times.

Acceptance means recognizing:

This behavior is not who you are.
Your fear is not who you are.
Your mistakes are not who you are.

I accept you because I see the larger truth of you.

I send you love and blessings

This is the gift of forgiveness.

When we look beyond blocked love — beyond the temporary ego-self — and see someone’s higher identity, it becomes easy to extend love.

We are sending love and blessings not to the small, confused personality, but to the equal, divine Self within them.

Because:

• They are what we are.

• We are all made of the same God-stuff.

• We are each an intrinsic part of the wholeness of God.

• We are all precious and cherished equally by Him.

If God can love this person…
If God never loses sight of their innocence…
Then surely, in this moment, we can send a little love too.

This simple prayer opens that channel.

I see you as you are.
I accept you as you are.
I send you love and blessings.

This is forgiveness.
This is freedom.
This is love remembering itself.

Want to go deeper into forgiveness and inner peace?

• Explore how forgiveness reconnects us to divine compassion in Unblocking our Connection to Love.

• My book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness offers heartfelt guidance, spiritual tools, and real-life practices.

• Let daily affirmations support you — discover the Forgiveness Metta Card Deck for a gentle morning practice of peace and release.

• Browse more forgiveness tools, art, and daily reminders in our Etsy Shop →

• Want to receive free weekly forgiveness coaching emails? Sign up and get insights, tools, and inspiration to deepen your practice → Sign up here

Let these tools light your path — because forgiveness sets you free.
— Sue Pipal

Let’s Get Meta Physical: Seeing Life as a Dream

What if everything you experience is just an illusion?

For thousands of years, advanced spiritual thinkers have described this life as a dream or illusion. Buddhists call it maya, Hindus speak of life as a temporary play of consciousness, and A Course in Miracles teaches that the world we see is not real—it’s a projection of the mind.

Nothing in this world exists in its own right; it’s all a dream. Think of life like a day at the movies. You show up, sit down, and become completely absorbed in the story on the screen. You forget everything else. You laugh, cry, and feel suspense, forgetting that this is just a movie.

Could it be that our larger life—the eternal part of us—is very much like the movie? We are here for a while, absorbed in the story, but the deeper truth is always present behind the scenes. The more we understand this, the more peace and freedom we experience.

How recognizing life as a dream helps with forgiveness

When we see life as a dream, the challenges, annoyances, and hurts we encounter take on a new perspective. People act from fear, ego, or confusion—like characters in a movie. Knowing that the deeper reality is love and unity allows us to forgive more easily and release our own judgments.

Life is a dream.  Photo by Robin Edqvist on Unsplash

A simple practice to remember the dream

Take a few moments each day to pause and say to yourself:
"This is a dream. I am more than what I see."
Notice how your perspective softens. You become less attached to outcomes, less reactive to minor irritations, and more aware of the timeless truth at your center.

Want to go deeper into forgiveness and seeing the truth beyond the dream?

• Explore how forgiveness reconnects us to divine compassion in Unblocking our Connection to Love.

• Read my book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness, for heartfelt guidance, spiritual tools, and real-life practices. Find it on Amazon →

• Receive free weekly forgiveness coaching emails with insights and tools to help you practice forgiveness in everyday life. Sign up here →

• Let daily affirmations support you too — discover the Forgiveness Metta Card Deck for a gentle morning practice of peace and release.

Let these tools light your path—because forgiveness and awareness of our true self set you free.
— Sue Pipal

Made by God.

Recognizing Our Holiness Heals Guilt and Fear

I am made by God.  He created me exactly in His own image.  Therefore I am holy.  I am beloved.  I am perfect in every way.  

"My holiness is my salvation."

"Since my holiness saves me from all guilt, recognizing my holiness is recognizing my salvation.  It is also recognizing the salvation of the world.  Once I have accepted my holiness, nothing can make me afraid.  And because I am unafraid, everyone must share in my understanding, which is the gift of God to me and to the world." --A Course in Miracles  From the review materials for Workbook lesson 39 (see page 97)

When I practice self-forgiveness, I remind myself: I am made by God. I am cherished, precious, and wholly loved. I am only love. There is nothing evil, sinful, or wrong about me. I am perfect in every way. I am part of God.

Guilt is self attack and it is always insane. --Living A Course in Miracles, Jon Mundy

A practice that helps me release guilt and fear is to create an altar to God in my mind. I visualize it as shining white marble, vast and beautiful. I place anything I feel guilty, hurt, or angry about onto this altar and hand it over to the Holy Spirit. He will handle it, wash me clean, and remove my fear.

Want to go deeper into forgiveness?

• Explore how forgiveness reconnects us to divine compassion in Unblocking our Connection to Love.

• My book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness, offers heartfelt guidance, spiritual tools, and real-life practices. Read it on Amazon →

• Let daily affirmations support you too — discover the Forgiveness Metta Card Deck for a gentle morning practice of peace and release. View the deck on Etsy →

• Receive free weekly forgiveness coaching emails and insights to deepen your practice → Sign up here

Let these tools light your path — because forgiveness sets you free.

— Sue Pipal

Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness is available at:

barnesandnoble.com

amazon.com

balboapress.com

A Simple Forgiveness Practice for Everyday Annoyances

A Simple Practice for Small Forgiveness Challenges

Here’s a quick little forgiveness practice that works for most smaller forgiveness challenges. I use this if someone I know well and really love is annoying me momentarily. I also use it on people I barely know—or don’t know at all—when they are annoying me just a little bit.

I forgive you,

I release you,

I bless you with love.

 

How to Use This Forgiveness Prayer

Repeat this over and over, truly feeling yourself blessing and loving the person you are forgiving. It won’t work if you repeat these as empty words. You’ve got to really send the love. 

Feel the Release and Bless with Love

When you feel the charge of annoyance, angry emotion, or hurt dissipate, you are finished!

 

 

Want to go deeper into forgiveness?

• Explore how forgiveness reconnects us to divine compassion in Unblocking our Connection to Love. Read it here →
• My book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness, offers heartfelt guidance, spiritual tools, and real-life practices. Read it on Amazon →
• Let daily affirmations support you too — discover the Forgiveness Metta Card Deck for a gentle morning practice of peace and release. View the deck on Etsy →
• Want to receive free weekly forgiveness coaching emails? Sign up and get insights, tools, and inspiration to deepen your practice of forgiveness. Sign up here →

Let these tools light your path — because forgiveness sets you free.

— Sue Pipal