Bedtime Forgiveness Habit

Yet another reason to practice forgiveness each night before sleep...

"The student or individual who wants to leap ahead in the progress of the Light should never enter sleep until he has consciously sent Love to every individual whom he feels has harmed him at any time.  This thought of Love will go straight as an arrow into the consciousness of the other individual because it cannot be stopped--there generating its Quality and Power which will as surely come back to you as you send it out."--The "I AM" Discourses

 

You get what you give.  It's a universal law.  When you give forgiveness and love to others, it comes back to you amplified.  It will show up in your life somewhere, someplace, sometime.  It may not relate to the actual person you have forgiven.  That relationship may or may not be salvageable.   It doesn't matter. If the love does not come to you through that relationship, it will find another way to express in your life.

"Forgive the World" -- What Does it Mean?

Forgiving the world...it seems like a daunting task.  There's a lot of pain out there.  In fact, there's a lot of suffering close-by.  Where do we even start?

When it comes to forgiving the world, we need to look at how forgiving plays out in both our immediate world and the greater world at large.

Forgiving in Our Own Backyard   In our immediate world, we can forgive the things that come up on an every day basis.  Whenever we feel frustrated, angry or hurt by the people or events that surround us, we need to do a little forgiveness work.  This can be done right on the spot, or it can be saved for a quiet moment later.  I like to review my day each night in bed and forgive anything disturbing that happened.

Global Forgiveness   Forgiving the world at large is a different kind of forgiveness.  It means releasing attachment.  It means that we watch what is happening in Israel, in the Ukraine, in Syria or wherever, from arms length, yet with an understanding that suffering  is occurring.  As we observe, we do not allow our thoughts to mentally sink down with fear and angst for the events that we see.

Just as we forgive the bullies in our immediate world, we also need to forgive the bullies of the world at large. And this we can add to our nightly forgiveness work.

Mind Work   However, when we think about the victims, we must not become upset and focused on the unfairness of it all.  Thoughts are creative and this kind of thinking holds the victims down.  If we want their lives to improve, we need to see them in their strength and truth.  We must hold the mental high ground with images of their higher source and true potential.  (Of course, this doesn't mean that we refrain from providing the help needed.  If there is something we can do, whatever it is, we can feel free to contribute.)

Remember that forgiveness happens on the mental plane.   We must hold a vision that helps the victims and sufferers to rise up.  It is our job to find the vision for peace.  It is our job to forgive and to see love as a real possibility.

World Peace Starts at Home, Inside   Of course, our biggest contribution to the healing of the world is the work we do on our very own minds.  We must release our habits of judging others.  If we want to heal the world, we must heal our own thinking first.  When our minds become a place of peace, the world will reflect that.  When we stop the attack thoughts that frequent our minds, when our minds become gentle, the world will too.

Remember that all minds are joined.  We can lift others up.  By filling our minds with love, we are showing others the pathway to peace.   And loving thoughts have so much more power than fearful thoughts.  It starts right here, right now, with us.  Each of us has the opportunity to contribute to the forgiving and healing of the world.

Look Up

Look to the higher place.
Whenever you meet someone, be sure to cast your eyes upward.

Upward to the place where the soul dwells, that higher self.
See only the beauty, the love, the truth in everyone you encounter.

Don't ever look down.

No matter what happens.
No matter what they do.
No matter what you do.


It's all only a dreamscape anyway.

But where you cast your gaze is how you shall dream...
Look down and you will dream of suffering.

But look upward and you will live the happy dream.
When you look for the beauty, the love and the truth in others,
you will live in that very same truth yourself.

Forgiveness and Travel

I just got back from a short trip for a friend's daughter's wedding.  In looking back over my trip I see that there were a few forgiveness opportunities given to me and I'd like to share my thoughts with you about them.

Judging   Traveling provides us with ample opportunities to observe ourselves in judgment.  Airports, big cities and crowds of all sorts are full of every kind of person imaginable.  Observing our thoughts and judgments as we watch the crowds around us allows us to see our judgment habits in action.  Are we looking critically at people's appearances and behavior?

I confess that I love clothes and it's something that's just been a part of me since I was a little child.  I often find myself thinking, "Oh, isn't that person beautifully dressed", or "Yikes!  What is that person thinking, wearing that in public?"  It's a bad habit I have always had and I need to rid myself of it.  As our forgiveness lifestyle grows, we should be starting to see humanity with love and in appreciation of the equality and oneness that is an inherent part of each person's higher self.  I know that I need to let go of my attachment to beauty and my difficulty in accepting things that are not beautiful. I'm much better than I used to be at this and I am grateful for my progress, but this is an area I must grow more in.

People do the craziest things and once we observe odd or difficult behavior, we must find forgiveness for it.  While relaxing by the pool at our hotel on one of our travel days, I watched a woman sit minding her children swim while dangling her feet in the pool.  She actually pulled out a pair of toenail nippers and began to give herself a manicure and pedicure flicking all the bits of nail and skin into the pool water!  Yes, she did!!!  It's a little hard not to judge something like that when you see it, and yes I did judge it, but I have now performed one of my forgiveness processes on her.

Feeling Victimized   Traveling can be so trying at times, that it can easily throw us into victim-mode.  Are we feeling put upon, hemmed in or herded around by the experience of traveling, the waits, the lines, the delayed schedules and traffic jams?  If we do, feelings of frustration, anger and hostility may be rising to the surface.  These are feelings that need to be accepted and then released and forgiven.  Sometimes these feelings flare up so quickly because we are re-experiencing feelings of victimization or being out of control that come from events in our childhood.  If you find yourself getting upset while you travel, do some thinking about what situations in your past felt similar to your current situation and then do a little forgiveness work on whatever comes up.

Insecurities   Being in new places and situations can sometimes be stressful and even a little frightening.  Even being in old familiar situations can be upsetting if we are feeling worried about how we will be perceived or accepted.  I found myself falling into this trap.  I worried that the shoes I had brought to wear were not right for the wedding so I went out and bought a new pair.  Moments after I paid for them, my back went into spasm and I had to spend the next three days in discomfort and moving with difficulty.  When something like this happens, take a moment to reflect on its meaning in your life.  As I looked at my feelings about seeing old friends, I realized that I was worried about how I would be accepted.  We may be tempted to dismiss the importance of our feelings because we believe them to be irrational, and yet, if we are feeling them, they are important.  Whatever happens in our world is always created in the mind first before it out-pictures into our lives.  I realized that my insecurities had triggered the episode with my back.  This gave me the opportunity to look into my mind and forgive myself for the fears that lurk there.

Getting Buttons Pushed   Of course, our biggest forgiveness work usually has to be done on the person that we spend the most time with.  On this trip my husband was doing the driving while I was doing the navigating with the GPS on my ipad.  It always feels to me that he is not listening to my instructions.  This pushes my buttons and I had to do a little forgiveness work on him for it.  One of the ways I forgive him is to see the situation from his point of view.  I'm sure that from his standpoint it feels like I am nagging him.  Plus I appreciate that it is difficult to drive in new places while dealing with heavy traffic, busy freeways and lots of confusion and stimulation.  It probably simply takes him a few moments to process the instructions I am giving him while he attempts to deal with all of this at once.

As I start to recognize my husband's feelings and his humanity, I am ultimately recognizing his truth.  He is just as much a creation of the Divine as I am.  When I acknowledge that, he is forgiven, and I am also forgiving myself.  After all, his truth is my truth.  We are both perfect spiritual beings.

Growth Opportunities   Remember that we can choose to see everything that comes up in our lives as an opportunity to forgive.   The more we forgive, the more we purify and grow on our pathway to love and peace.

What's to Forgive About the 4th?

Perhaps your 4th of July celebrations went off quietly and without a hitch.  Your 4th was peaceful or uneventful.  If so, you are free of forgiveness homework for now, but do remember that forgiveness opportunities are a part of everyone's life and if you're not being given a forgiveness assignment this weekend, you'll get one soon enough.

If, however, you had a crazy busy 4th with lots of family and friends treading on each others toes, travel traffic to deal with, crowds, summer heat and burnt BBQ, you might have a little forgiveness work to do.  Spend a few quiet moments quickly reviewing your holiday today.  Were there disappointments or moments of frustration and anger?  Did anyone insult you or hurt your feeling?  Did your buttons get pressed at any point either by people you know and love, by strangers in the crowds or traffic or simply by the events of the weekend?  If you find that there were any moments where you felt any negative feelings at all, it's time to do a little forgiveness work.

Send a little love to whomever or whatever activated your emotions over the holiday.  Go ahead.  Just flip the switch from fear and negative thinking to love.  If you find forgiveness easy, just see the people or events you need to forgive enveloped in white light.  You can say the words, "I forgive you.  I release you.  I bless you with love."  Or, you can envision them floating skyward in their brilliant white light and say the words, "I raise you. I praise you." over and over until you feel the switch has been flipped from fear to love.  You'll know it in your heart when that has happened.  If you're in the habit of forgiving, a quickie forgiveness process like one of these usually does the trick.  Congratulations...job done!

However, if you're new to forgiveness or if you had a particularly unsettling run-in with someone, you can try a more structured forgiveness process.  You can go to Colin Tipping's web-site and download one of his radical forgiveness forms.  Or, you can download my audio forgiveness meditation, "Forgive Someone Now",https://www.tahoedreaminteriors.com/forgive-someone-now/ which will guide you through forgiveness for only $2.99.  You can load it onto your computer or cell phone so that you can listen to it anytime you need it.  It will teach you an easy forgiveness process that you can use anytime and anywhere.

Get in the habit of reviewing your weekend every weekend and clearing through any unsettling events with forgiveness.  A forgiveness habit will create peace in your life over time.  You'll be amazed at how much your life and the world around you will change with a forgiveness lifestyle.  Forgiveness is the key to happiness.

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What Really Occurs When You Forgive?

I am preparing this week to lead a discussion group class on the third chapter from "The Way of Mastery".  The topic of this chapter is forgiveness.  I have read this chapter over and over, many many times in the past, but I find that each time I read it, I get new lessons.  This little section below jumped out at me this morning and I had to share it with you:

"What really occurs when you forgive?

You are a conduit of energy.  To the degree that the conduit is in working order, the energy can flow so radiantly that the conduit actually becomes transparent.  That is, it no longer blocks.  There is no barrier or limit to the Light.  

When you judge, it is as though you contracted and made the walls of the conduit smaller, just like building up rust in your pipes.  And the flow becomes less and less.

As you forgive judgments, it is as though the rust in the pipes is dissolving.  It is as though the walls of the pipe that are carrying the liquid of God's Love begin to expand and become thinner and thinner and more transparent.

Judgment is contraction.

Forgiveness is relaxation, peace, trust and faith." --Way of Mastery p. 33  

I really do feel this.  When I am in a state of un-forgiveness or judgment, I feel a tightness in my chest, a density to my physical body, a heaviness.  However, after I forgive, I feel light, happy, comfortable and easy in both my body and mind.  And the more I work at forgiveness, the more I experience this.

I experience the most happiness when I am doing the most forgiveness work.  When I am truly practicing what I call a "forgiveness lifestyle", I find that I almost feel like I am walking on air.

A "forgiveness lifestyle" means that every night before I go to sleep I scan my mind to see if there is anything that happened that day that I can forgive. This is what I call forgiving the present  (see here for more).

It also means that I am constantly alert to the workings of my mind, looking to see if any old memories of hurt, anger or upset rise to the surface.  When I do, I forgive and release them (using techniques you can find in my book, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness").  This is forgiving the past (see here for more).

It also means that I am constantly thinking, ruminating if you will, looking deep into my mind in search of the false beliefs I have created in my mind as a result of these past memories.  False beliefs are beliefs such as:  "I'm not worthy." "I'm not love-able."  "I don't deserve to have good in my life."  "I am a bad girl."  "I am stupid."  "Nobody likes me."  "I am ugly."  "I am poor."  "I am sick."  (see here for more on understanding and forgiving false beliefs).

There are many more false beliefs but these are a few key examples.  If we are to really and truly forgive ourselves, we need to dig up these false beliefs and root them out of our minds with our forgiveness.  This is self-forgiveness, of course.

Forgiveness is mental and physical freedom.  It opens the door to inner peace.  Without it, we simple can not have peace.  However, with it comes the peace that leads to true happiness.

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Are You a Spiritual Warrior?

In church this morning, my minister said this:

"Forgiveness is the action of a spiritual warrior."--Reverend Liz Luoma

It is true that forgiveness is not for the feint of heart.  Real forgiveness work requires determination and fortitude.  Real forgiveness involves a willingness to look deep into your own soul and in that looking you may see much that you would rather not look at.

But it is in that looking that the true growth comes.  Only in that looking are we able to  understand and release the mental blocks that we have created in our minds which keep us separated from our Source and from our oneness with each other.

 

I want to be that spiritual warrior.  I want this to be the life in which I finally break through to a higher level of mind.

So I just keep doing my forgiveness work.  I forgive every day.  And I often work to forgive my past.  And I look deep inside my mind and examine my thinking.  Even when it means that I have to mentally relive some of the more painful moments in my life.  As I forgive on all these levels, I find greater happiness in all aspects of my life.  This is my forgiveness lifestyle.  I hope it will be yours, too.

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Forgiveness Offers Everything I Want

This was my reading for this morning in A Course in Miracles.  It's words on forgiveness are so beautiful that I wanted to share them with you.  From Workbook lesson 122:

What could you want forgiveness cannot give?  Do you want peace?  Forgiveness offers it.  Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world?  Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always?  Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?

All this forgiveness offers you and more.  It sparkles on your eyes as you awake, and gives you joy with which to meet the day.  It soothes your forehead while you sleep, and rests upon your eyelids so you see no dreams of fear and evil, malice and attack.  And when you wake again, it offers you another day of happiness and peace.  All this forgiveness offers you, and more.  

Forgiveness lets the veil be lifted up that hides the face of Christ from those who look with unforgiving eyes upon the world.  It lets you recognize the Son of God, and clears your memory of all dead thoughts so that remembrance of your Father can arise across the threshold of your mind.  What would you want forgiveness cannot give?  What gifts but these are worthy to be sought?  What fancied value, trivial effect or transient promise, never to be kept, can hold more hope than what forgiveness brings? 

Why would you seek an answer other than the answer that will answer everything?  Here is the perfect answer, given to imperfect questions, meaningless requests, halfhearted willingness to hear, and less than halfway diligence and partial trust.  Here is the answer!  Seek for it no more.  You will not find another one instead.  

If ever I find myself feeling less than content, I know I have forgiveness work to do.  I search my mind for the source of my unforgiveness.  Who am I feeling annoyed with?  Is there anyone or any thing that is bringing this particular form of fear into my life?

Even if it is only a vague feeling of discomfort, I know it must be forgiven.  I may not understand what it is that is making me feel uncomfortable, but I go ahead and apply one of my forgiveness processes to it anyway.

Then I think.  I look into my past and I look deep into my heart.  What is it about this situation that is unsettling me?  What false beliefs do I hold in my unconsciousness that are causing me to experience fear or anger or hurt or frustration?  How can I tie the feelings I am experiencing this day to experiences in my past?

What do I believe about the world and about myself?  Deep down in the dark recesses of my mind, do I secretly believe that I am not worthy of happiness, love and safety?  Do I believe there is not enough good for the rest of the world and me too?  Do I believe I am unloveable?  Do I believe I am guilty and deserve to be punished?  Beliefs like these and many others silently run our lives, causing us to behave eradically and often in ways that harm ourselves and others.

Looking deep at our beliefs, tracking them down to their source, remembering which events in our lives originally created these beliefs and forgiving, forgiving, forgiving is the way to happiness.  I try to forgive every aspect I can dig up.  I forgive the people and events causing me discomfort today, the people and events from its source in my past, the false belief I have embedded in my unconscious mind and any other experiences or thoughts I can discover in my consciousness that relate to this topic.

Doing this kind of mind cleaning and purifying does take commitment, but it pays off in spades.  As we forgive the world around us, slowly but steadily our trust and comfort in our world begins to build.

Forgive and be forgiven.  As you give you will receive.  --Also from Workbook Lesson 122

Peace flows into our minds and we become happy.

If you are unsure how to begin to forgive on this level, my book, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" explains how you can successfully use forgiveness to create happiness in your life.

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Happiness is Something You Decide On

"The 92-year old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair done and makeup applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. 

“Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room ...” 

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it."  --The above story came from Chapter Two Blog .   

Mrs. Jones knows something big.  And this is something that most of us go our entire lives without learning.  Mrs. Jones knows that our thoughts are the one thing in life that we have complete and utter control over.  How we chose to look at the world is the one choice that is ours to make.  Mrs. Jones knows that each of us has the wherewithal to choose to allow only thoughts that ultimately contribute to our happiness to fill our minds.   

Choosing to be happy means that we choose to accept everything that occurs in our lives, even blindness. 

Choosing to be happy means that we learn to trust that whatever occurs is ultimately for our greater good, if we will only let it unfold, watching it with love and acceptance.

Choosing to be happy means that we let go of our habit of judging.  We stop judging the people we encounter, we stop judging the events that occur in our life and we stop judging the world and its conditions.

Choosing to be happy means that we commit to work to forgive the source of our disappointments, pains, losses, lack, discomfort, unhappiness, sadness, frustrations and fear, whatever it may be.  

Choosing to be happy means that it is okay for us to experience and feel real pain and hurt when it shows up in our lives.  It's okay to grieve.  It's okay to gnash ones teeth.  It's okay to howl with frustration.  But then, we release it and move on.  we don't fixate and get stuck in victim-hood.  We forgive.   

Choosing to be happy means that we develop a forgiveness lifestyle, that we practice forgiving whatever pushes our buttons each day in our present, that we forgive the painful events from our past and that we work to uncover the "false beliefs" that we have created as the result of these past events that are creating upsetting, confusing and painful patterns in our present.

And finally. choosing to be happy means that we flip the switch in our mind whenever the ego rears it's ugly head.  We flip the switch from fear to love.  We choose to think with Spirit in our minds.  Whenever we notice that the ego has returned with its thoughts of fear and worry, sadness and disappointment, frustration and anger, hurt and despair...we process, we inquire, we dig deep into our pasts to find the source of these thoughts, we examine, we feel and we release.  And then we kick the ego to the curb and get on with our happy lives.  

We're the Ones That Feel Bad

When we don't forgive, we're only creating more suffering for ourselves.  Leaving negative emotions unresolved eats away at us.  It damages out bodies physically and it damages our minds.  When we allow grievances to accumulate in our mind, they block any chance we have of accessing our natural inner peace.

Do the words natural inner peace surprise you?  Yes, our natural state is inner peace.  However, from our earliest years, we start to harbor psychic wounds.  We allow the hurts to accumulate and clump together in our subconscious.  We start to believe ideas like these:

I am a bad person.
I am not smart.
I am not worthy.
Nobody likes me.
I am not love-able.
Life is unfair.
The world is cruel.
Bad things happen.

When we allow these ideas to take over, we suffer.

And the more we think thoughts like these, the more we draw events toward us that re-enforce these very ideas.  We work a theme.  Perhaps it's a belief in abandonment.  Maybe there was an incident as a very small child where we felt abandoned.  We may find that throughout our lifetime we re-experience those same feelings.  On a regular basis, events transpire in which we are "abandoned" yet one more time.

The only way to stop the cycle of hurt is to forgive and release the grievances.  We can start by working on the most recent experience of abandonment.  We can forgive the event and anyone involved in it.  That will go along way toward resolving this issue.  However, it is best to root it out fully.  We do this by searching our memories for the earliest time when we felt this emotion.  We sit with these feelings and experience them fully until they move through us.  We remember, contemplate, feel the feelings and release.

This takes time and it takes a commitment to look deep, be open to epiphanies, to keep studying ourselves, week after week and month after month.  Things will be revealed.  Aha moments will happen.  And as we understand more about what occurred in our past, as we forgive and release, we will begin the process of restoring that natural inner peace.  

We all have a choice.  We can continue to let fear run our daily lives, or we can do the work and forgive our world.  It takes a lot of inner work to create a forgiveness lifestyle and it unfolds slowly over the course of several years, if one is fully committed.  However, once we do this work, we live largely in peace.  Happiness is once again our ordinary state.

Ask yourself, are you really truly happy?  Or are you substituting a nice car, a good job, busy children and a comfortable house for true happiness.  Are you just telling yourself that this is what happiness is?  Because happiness is so much more than a busy comfortable life.  True happiness comes from a deep inner peace that only forgiveness can bring.

Forgiveness is a lot easier than you may think.  If you would like to forgive, but don't know how to start, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" outlines many easy processes to help you learn to forgive.  Amazingly, forgiveness actually becomes pleasurable and something you will look forward to.  

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How to Forgive Really Big Betrayals

Once you get a forgiveness lifestyle happening, most of your forgiveness work will be fairly easy.  Lately I've been discussing the concept of "flipping the switch" from judgement to acceptance or fear to love.  This is a fairly easy process and once you understand it and have worked with it for awhile you'll find that you can forgive most of life's little annoyances and wounds in a minute or so of correct thinking.

However, there are other kinds of forgiveness needs in our lives and some are more challenging than this.  One is for big betrayals.  Not all of us have experienced a core-shattering betrayal, but if you have, you'll know how deeply painful this can be.  

My own experience with forgiving big betrayals has shown me that they require a lot of forgiveness work, often over an ongoing period of time.  Also, I've found that some deep betrayals need to be forgiven from a number of different angles and using a number of different processes.

Let's deal with the ongoing aspect of forgiving big betrayals first.  When we are deeply and utterly betrayed to our cores, there is so much hurt that it sometimes releases slowly.  In forgiving big betrayals, I found that I would forgive only to find that just a few days later, painful memories were running through my mind all over again. Much of the hurt, anger and other painful emotions had returned in almost full force.   

When this happens, there is nothing you can do, but forgive the whole mess all over again to the best of your ability.  Sometimes this means that you are forgiving the same event over and over again for weeks, months or even years.  It's important not to feel alarmed or overwhelmed by this.  Settle in to the fact that some of the biggest traumas of our lives take some time and effort to work through.  As we forgive, accept and release the pain, over time we will find that our forgiveness load lightens considerably every time we work with it and that eventually, the traumatic painful emotions lift completely away, never to return.  Have patience and keep chipping away at it.  You will come to the other side of it.

It's complicated!

One thing I've found is that there are often a number of different emotional aspects surrounding a big betrayal.  In other words, it's complicated.  As we forgive one part of it, other aspects come to the surface of our minds.  As each aspect comes into our awareness, we need to forgive that part of the betrayal.  We might find that we are forgiving one big betrayal, but that this event had repercussions that affected a myriad of aspects in our lives.  The trusting way we formerly looked at the world may have changed.  The betrayal may have forced significant changes into our daily lifestyles, perhaps financial, or we may even have had to move houses or change jobs.  If we have children, they may be affected.  Perhaps our betrayer was someone we spent a great deal of time with, and now we are mourning the loss of a best friend or spouse.  Our confidence levels may have changed and our sense of overall fear may be increased.  Perhaps this event tied into earlier memories of betrayal in our past that need to be dug up from the interior of our minds and processed.  

Understanding and forgiving all this needs contemplative time.  Think of this betrayal as a big knotted ball of yarn in our sub-consciousness.  We need to unravel every thread and release it individually until eventually, there is nothing left. 

A great starting place for forgiving a big betrayal is with Colin Tipping's Radical Forgiveness forms. (available for free at www.colintipping.com under "free stuff")  They really force you to do some deep thinking about how the betrayal has affected you.  If you are really deeply hurt, be prepared to do quite a few forms.  Try to tackle a form every day or so for awhile until you feel that the forgiveness is taking effect.  Every time you become aware of a new aspect of the betrayal that needs to be forgiven, write it down on an ongoing forgiveness "to do" list.   This way, you'll know the direction your forgiveness will take each day.  

I also like using a number of other forgiveness processes on something big like this.  There are several great ones outlined in my book "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness", particularly "Feel the Feelings".  Also, my "Forgive Your Past NOW" audio meditation can be of significant help in breaking through a lot of the pain and hurt in one quick blow.  

Just remember that forgiveness is a lifestyle.  It is something we do everyday.  We are all given forgiveness assignments in this lifetime. Everyone of us has bruises, bumps and deep wounds to forgive.  It is as we forgive, accept and release that the true meaning of love begins to flow into our lives.  It starts off slowly at first, but as our forgiveness lifestyle grows, our understanding of the true meaning of love does, too.  And when this happens, we begin to know the deep inner peace that is our divine inheritance.  It's always ours to receive, but forgiveness is the way that we convince ourselves that we are worthy of accepting it.  

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Audio download with the "feel the feelings" forgivness process:

  

Painful Memories from the Past

Do you sometimes find your mind running through important moments from your past?  Do the same old unresolved issues pop up in your mind repeatedly?

When these memories come, give yourself a little emotional check-up.  Are you feeling calm and comfortable with what you're remembering or is there a tightness in your chest, an upset feeling in your stomach, an elevated heart rate or a shallowness of breath?

If you feel any physical symptoms associated with these memories, then it's probably time to forgive and release them.   After all, they are returning to you over and over again for just that purpose.  You're getting another chance to do your forgiveness work.  Perhaps you were too young the first time around and couldn't really process what was happening.  Perhaps you didn't know how to forgive then.  That's all perfectly okay, because you can take up now what you left off with then.

There is no time and space.  (This is not just a "spiritual" belief.  It is now scientifically proven thanks to Einstein's theory of relativity.)  What it means for your spiritual life, however, is that you can forgive anybody any time and any place and make things right.  You can forgive something from your past today.  It doesn't matter where the other person is now and it's perfectly fine if they are not even living.

You don't need to be with someone to forgive them.  In fact, it's not necessary that you even see them ever again.  Forgiveness is something that happens in the mind.    It is a mental shift in your thinking.  Because all minds are joined, when you shift your thinking now, you are offering healing to any other minds involved wherever and whenever they are (and you are allowing your own mind to begin its healing process, too.)  You don't have to apologize, take them to lunch, write them a letter or wash their feet.  You do, however, have to look at people and events from your past differently.  You have to flip the switch.  When we flip the switch we go from fear to love.

It's important to watch what the mind is bringing to our awareness.  Unresolved issues will be presented over and over again.  Sometimes they come as actual remembrances of the past.  However, when issues are left unforgiven, unaccepted and unreleased, those same issues will be given to us again as a real-life 3D event.  A similar situation to the original will show up in our lives, giving us one more chance to make a better decision and to forgive.

Just a word of warning here.  It's your choice whether to forgive or not.  But just know that each time you get the same lesson over again, it's probably going to be bigger, more in-your-face, more painful.  Unresolved issues don't go away, they fester in our sub-conscious minds and each time they come back, they are much more obvious.  It's best to face it now.

In fact, why not just feel grateful for the opportunity to clean up your mind on this issue right here and now.  It's a blessing. The memories are coming back to you as a brand new chance for you to get this right, finally.  The universe is offering you what you need most to grow and learn.  In the classroom of life, we are always being offered another chance.

Be vigilant in monitoring your mind, always looking for these gems.  They are the chance to see something from your past differently.  Forgiving, accepting and releasing old wounds from the past leads to inner peace.  It takes constant thoughtfulness.  This is what a forgiveness lifestyle is all about.  We must develop the habit of reviewing our thoughts each day to see what is coming up for healing, but it is so worth the effort.  Isn't inner peace worth it?

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This downloadable guided forgiveness process is a wonderful way to learn how to forgive people and events from your past:

Forgiving is Easier Than You Think

It really is.  It's just a change of habit.  It's a swapping out of old ways of thinking and a welcoming in of a new one.

Forgiveness is a lifestyle change.  And like any other lifestyle change it may seem strange and difficult, even overwhelming at first.  Not to worry.  It will get easier as you practice.  And once it's a habit, it WILL be easy.

You can do it.  You really can.

Just dive in where you are now.  Find someone who's irritating you and let it go.  Here's how.  Do it today.  Do it now!

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And for easy to use downloadable audio forgiveness processes:

A Forgiveness Practice Happens Everyday

Forgiveness is not something we pull out for special occasions.  It's not only for those moments in life when we are desperate with fear and hurt.  If we want to develop authentic happiness and peace in our lives, we need to get in the habit of forgiving on a daily basis.

Things to Forgive on a Daily Basis:

Annoying and Upsetting People  Each night before sleep scan through your day and forgive anything and anyone that pressed your buttons during the day.  Even if it seems illogical for you to have been upset by whatever occurred, forgive it.  If you got activated, you need to release it.  (I use Practice #1 Seeing the Higher Truth which is explained in my book, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" for my nightly clearing and releasing of events and people that upset me during the day)

Yourself  Each night before sleep scan through your day and forgive yourself for anything you feel you did or did not do, said or did not say, thought or did not think, which is creating feelings of discomfort for you now.  (I use Practice #1 for this, too.)

Other Worlds  Each night before sleep think back to anything you saw on television, the internet or in any reading you did that pressed your buttons.  Yes, we have to forgive the Housewives of Beverly Hills as well as anyone from the news that harmed anyone else during the day.  If it activated your emotions and you judged it as unfair, wrong or scary, you need to forgive and release it.  (I also use Practice #1 for this.)  Also in this category would be any bad experiences you remember from your dreams.

Frequent Protagonists   We also need to forgive the people that repeatedly press our buttons over and over.  This might be a spouse, boss, child, friend, co-worker.  There are just certain people that annoy us over and over.  These people will continue to upset and annoy us until we have forgiven them on a deep level.  (You can use Practice #1 to forgive them, but it will probably take some deeper work such as Radical Forgiveness, or a Feel the Feelings Process which are Process #3 and #4 in my book.)

Your Past   On a regular basis, be alert to any memories from your past that trigger any level of upsetting emotion when you think of them.  Save these for your nightly work and before sleep use Practice #3 Feeling the Feelings, or deal with them the next morning using one of Colin Tipping's Radical Forgiveness forms (available at www.ColinTipping.com under "free stuff").

Mental Blockages   These create areas where you are experiencing lack, disappointment, frustration and fear in your life.  Mental Blockages exist due to beliefs you created early in your life. These might include beliefs like "I'm not good enough", "Everyone abandons me", "I'm not loveable", "I don't deserve to have what I want", and "I'm not worthy", among many others.  These beliefs prevent us from living in the fullness of life.  If we do not dig them up, look at them and clear them through, we will continue to experience some form of lack in our life, whether it be financial difficulties, relationship difficulties or health difficulties.  As long as we believe that we are not deserving of better, difficulties will be a part of our world.  In order to clear these up, I use Practices #3, 4 and 5 in my book.  I also work with a mentor who asks me the questions I'm not always willing or able to ask myself.  Together we route out and heal the pain from my past that created these mental blocks.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by all this, go easy on yourself.  Start your forgiveness practice by simply focusing on forgiving the things that occur each day.  In a few months time you'll be ready for the deeper work.  In fact, you'll want the deeper work because you'll be starting to feel better about your life and you'll want to see how much better you are capable of feeling.  Start out slow, but make the mental commitment to become a regular forgiver.  If you do so, the universe will deliver you gifts.  You'll receive the tools and knowing you need to make this happen in your life.

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For downloadable recorded audios of guided forgiveness processes:

A State of Grace

When you have forgiven everything, you are in a state of Grace.  Life is happy and free.  You are at peace.  You have found the Heaven that resides within.

This is a state that happens when you live a forgiveness lifestyle.  You forgive the daily annoyances and hurts that come your way.  You stop judging others.  You go into your past memories and you release and forgive everything you are aware of.

You remain constantly on alert, looking for anything you can forgive.  Something will show up, it always does. After all, we are here to learn and grow...a new forgiveness opportunity will always show.  And when the opportunity comes to you, you set aside the time to do your forgiveness work.

When you live like this day after day, week after week,  year after year, the joy in you slowly builds.  A feeling of love floods into every aspect of your life.  Until one day, you look around and you say to yourself, "Wow, I am actually living the "happy dream".  It's here in my life now.

Then maintenance is your job, being ever vigilant to stay in that perfect state of Grace, forgiving everything that comes your way.

"Forgiveness turns the world of sin into a world of glory, wonderful to see.  Each flower shines in light, and every bird sings of the joy of Heaven.  There is no sadness and there is no parting here, for everything is totally forgiven  And what has been forgiven must join, for nothing stands between to keep them separate and apart.  The sinless must perceive that they are one, for nothing stands between to push the other off.  And in the space that sin left vacant do they join as one, in gladness recognizing what is part of them has not been kept apart and separate."       --A Course in Miracles, Chapter 26, IV, 2

Well, what are you waiting for?  Happiness is yours for the taking.

 "This tiny spot of sin that stands between you and your brother still is holding back the happy opening of Heaven's gate.  How little is the hindrance that withholds the wealth of Heaven from you.  And how great will be the joy in Heaven when you join the mighty chorus to the Love of God!"   --A Course in Miracles, Chapter 26, IV, 6

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A Little Slide Downward

I usually forgive just about everything as soon as I am aware that I am feeling annoyed, hurt or upset.  After all, I have a forgiveness lifestyle.  Forgiveness keeps me happy and it keeps my world easy and comfortable to live in.  So I value and appreciate my life lessons and try to forgive my world each day.  

But last week I had a little slump.  Here's what happened.  Right before bed one evening, my husband snapped at me when I was trying to tell him about our plans for the next day.  Instead of overlooking and forgiving him, I got annoyed.  And I kept feeling annoyed because...I LIKED IT!  I indulged myself.  I let myself get good and angry with him.    

And here's what happened next...

I woke up at 3 AM and was unable to go back to sleep. The next morning as we were trying to meet our friends to ski together, we missed the bus they were on.  Then we went to get my iphone out of our ski locker so we could make a plan to meet up with them later.  We found my phone submerged in an inch of vegetable juice in the bottom of my purse (I had tossed in a plastic bottle of the stuff on the run to meet our friends... smart?)  I turned it on and shorted it out, killing it permanently.

All afternoon I continued to feel annoyed with my husband...so he, of course, began to act really annoying.  I went to bed feeling hurt and put upon.  The next morning was my birthday.  None of my friends and family called to wish me Happy Birthday.  Well, actually, they did, but my phone was dead, of course.  Now I began to feel sorry for myself.  Then I burned my hand cooking dinner.  Next, my husband, in an effort to repair a broken light sconce in our powder room, somehow shorted out the electricity in half our house.  I went to bed with business worries on my mind instead of my usually peaceful thoughts.

At this point I began to recognize that my switch from thinking with love to thinking with fear was beginning to do a little damage in my life.  I could get a new phone, my hand would heal, my husband could  repair the light fixture.  I figured I'd better stop while I was ahead.  If I didn't, I'd risk drawing some seriously bad stuff into my life.  

And so I forgave him.  I felt better.  He felt better.  A new phone arrived in the mail.  The light sconce got fixed.  My hand stopped hurting. I got a good night's sleep.  My clients all emailed or called with happy messages.  Best of all, there were Happy Birthday wishes waiting for me on my new phone.  

My world keeps reminding me that happiness is a choice.

This is often what actually happens in real life.  When we are acting with the ego and living in fear, we create problems and upsets in our lives.  When we forgive and choose to join our thoughts with the Holy Spirit, we create peace and happiness.  Watch your life and see if you don't see similar patterns emerging.

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You Get What You Give

This is one of the Universal laws. What you give out, you get back.  When you give out love and forgiveness, that is what comes to you.  When you live in judgment and hold grudges, you will be judged and left un-forgiven. 

 

Which world do you want to live in? 

The one where you are gifting everyone around you with your love and forgiving every trespass?  In this world everyone around you loves and supports you and overlooks your shortcoming and mistakes.

Or, do you choose to judge others and hold your grievances?  In your world you will feel alone and afraid.  Everyone around you will judge your actions and find them lacking.  There will be no approval for you.  And there will be no forgiveness when you slip up.

Think about what it must be like to live in each of these two opposite worlds.  Imagine what a working life will be in each. In the first your work meets with approval and you are appreciated.  In the second you are attacked and scorned.

What about family relationships and friendships?  In the first you have friends and family that enjoy your company and have your back.  In the second world, you meet with constant criticism and nobody is there for you. 

How about romance in these two worlds?  In the first, you take your time getting to know your romantic partners.  You trust the world to bring you what's good for you so there's no rush.  Your love is mutual as you both love and respect each other. As time goes on your relationships develops into a deep caring and sharing partnership.

In the second world, early relationships might seem intense and exciting but after awhile, there is betrayal and rejection, no deep abiding love develops, there is no sense of strong partnership and ultimately there is no harmony, safety and peace in the relationship.

Forgive and accept the world around you and the people in your life.  Create a world that is safe, loving and supportive and where good things come to you.  A Course in Miracles calls this the "Happy Dream Life".   It doesn't happen overnight.  It takes a forgiveness lifestyle to create this world.  However, if you learn to practice forgiveness on every aspect of your life, it will come to pass that you will live a life in which you are surrounded by love and goodness. 

 

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