How to Forgive When You’re Still Hopping Mad

Even though we know that forgiving sooner rather than later is best for everyone involved, sometimes it’s just hard to do.

Sometimes, even though we know we should forgive, we simply can’t — at least not right away.

You replay what happened.
You think about the person.
And instantly, the steam starts to rise.

Your body tightens.
Your thoughts race.
You feel so angry you can barely think straight.

So what do you do when you know you should be forgiving… but you’re still hopping mad?

When Forgiveness Feels Impossible

Let’s be honest: sometimes forgiveness feels completely distasteful.

You’re not ready to “be the bigger person.”
You’re not ready to feel compassionate.
You’re not ready to soften.

And you definitely don’t want to emotionally engage with what they did or how it made you feel — because that just fuels the fire.

Here’s the good news:

There is a painless little thing you can do that takes less than a minute, requires almost no emotional effort, and still moves forgiveness forward in a very real way.

It’s a little weird that it works.
But it does.

A Forgiveness Shortcut (Yes, Even When You’re Angry)

You don’t have to feel forgiving.
You don’t have to mean it yet.
You don’t have to excuse anything.

You simply say these five lines:

You are Spirit.
Whole and innocent.
I forgive you.
I release you.
I bless you with love.

That’s it.

You can say them quietly in your mind.
You can say them through clenched teeth.
You can say them while still feeling annoyed, hurt, frustrated, or furious.

You don’t even have to emotionally engage with them.

How to Use This When the Anger Keeps Coming Back

Here’s how it works in real life:

Every time you think of the person and feel the anger surge again —
every time the memory pops up —
every time your body reacts —

you simply repeat the five lines.

Again.
And again.
And again.

Each time you do, it releases a little steam.

You may still feel some heat at first.
You may still be quietly seething.

But something subtle shifts.

You don’t spiral as far.
You recover faster.
You return to yourself more quickly.

As the days go by, you’ll notice that your intense feelings begin to recede. When you think about what happened, you feel more like you again — less hijacked by emotion.

Letting Forgiveness Work in the Background

Eventually, one of two things will happen:

You may find that you’re ready to do deeper forgiveness work with this person.

Or — just as often — you’ll suddenly realize that the anger, hurt, frustration, helplessness, or sense of victimization is simply… gone.

This little quiet forgiveness prayer will have done its work without you having to force anything.

Your only job was your willingness to say it.

Why This Works So Well

Perhaps this prayer works because it doesn’t ask you to excuse anyone’s behavior.

It doesn’t ask you to pretend nothing happened.
It doesn’t ask you to bypass your feelings.

It simply asks you to acknowledge who the other person really is — beyond the behavior — and what their highest potential is.

And in doing that, it gently frees you.

Forgiveness doesn’t always begin with warmth.
Sometimes it begins with willingness.
Sometimes it begins while you’re still mad.

And that’s okay.

This simple practice will carry you the rest of the way.

Want to go deeper into forgiveness?

Explore how forgiveness reconnects us to divine compassion in Unblocking Our Connection to Love.

My book, Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness,  offers heartfelt guidance, spiritual tools, and real-life practices to help make forgiveness easier than you might think.

Let daily affirmations support you too — discover the Forgiveness Metta Card Deck  for a gentle morning practice of peace, release, and healing.

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Let these tools light your path — because forgiveness sets you free.
— Sue Pipal