One who loves himself would never harm another. --Buddha
When we withhold forgiveness, we are harming others.
After all, if we carry grievances, they are based on judgments we make about others. We are judging others to be "bad", or "mean", or "selfish", or "evil" or "wrong", or something similar.
Judgmental thoughts are attack thoughts.
Of course, we turn our "attacks" around in our heads. We justify them. We like to make ourselves out to be "right", "good" or "innocent". We tell ourselves that we are the victim! This is how we give ourselves permission to stay in a state of judgement. "Go ahead and hold that grudge", we tell ourselves. "We're the innocent victims here. They are the evil perpetrator."
The issue is not who did what to whom. It is, "Who are we all really, when we get deep down to the ultimate truth?" We are all the same. We are all Sons of God. Each of us was created in the image of God. We are pure love. And we are all One in our true home where we reside in the Mind of God.
When we see our very own personal truth, that we are really only love, we can begin to know our true value. As we learn to value ourselves in our minds, we begin to love ourselves. And it is only as we learn to love ourselves that we become capable of extending that love to others. We can finally exchange our habit of judging, attacking and blaming others with the ability to look at everything that occurs with acceptance and love.
It's not that we condone behavior that upsets or wounds us, but we look beyond the earthly actions to the deeper truth. Our trespasser is really only the same as us. We are love and he is love, too. And in this knowing comes acceptance and forgiveness. When we forgive, we drop our attack thoughts and when we do so we are no longer harming our trespasser by holding them in a low place in our minds.
Importantly, as we release our trespasser we are also releasing ourselves from our own separation from love. Returning to love is how we create inner peace in our lives.
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