"Seeing the Soul"

"One of the greatest gifts we can bring to every person we meet today is to look at them beyond the personality level. We don't just see them as their history or what they look like at a physical level.  But, let's bring the practice--and perhaps it might be the highest practice of our day--to practice seeing essence.  Practice seeing the real being, the real person.  Practice seeing the great soul in the amazing disguise of the human flesh that we see with each and every person we meet this day." --Mary Morrissey

This is what real forgiveness is about.  Forgiveness happens when we look beyond the "human flesh" of this 3D earthly world (and the occasional misguided and confused behavior that accompanies it), to the soaring soul essence beyond.  Learn to cast your gaze to a higher place, the place where Spirit is the only truth.  It is in that place that we can find forgiveness for what happens on this lower plane where many of us "know not what we do".

When we look upon our trespassers, let us look with the eyes of Spirit, not with our human eyes.  This earth can be a hard, confusing place of suffering for many.  Let us just acknowledge that their bad behavior is often simply coming from that place of fear that each and every one of us knows far too well.  Let us see their bad behavior as we are advised to in A Course in Miracles, where we are asked to see "everything as either an expression for love or a call for love."  Fear acts are merely misguided calls for love.  Yes, sometimes they can be very misguided.  But it is important to remember that they come from a place of fear, and fear is always suffering.

Look beyond that suffering to the love that is ultimately at the core of the higher essence of each and every one of us.

"What was so powerful about the ministry of Yeshua ben Joseph, who became Jesus, the Christ, was how people felt in the way in which he saw them.  He saw them in their wholeness  He saw them in their natural beauty.  He saw them in their wonder."  --Marry Morrissey

Forgiveness and Travel

I just got back from a short trip for a friend's daughter's wedding.  In looking back over my trip I see that there were a few forgiveness opportunities given to me and I'd like to share my thoughts with you about them.

Judging   Traveling provides us with ample opportunities to observe ourselves in judgment.  Airports, big cities and crowds of all sorts are full of every kind of person imaginable.  Observing our thoughts and judgments as we watch the crowds around us allows us to see our judgment habits in action.  Are we looking critically at people's appearances and behavior?

I confess that I love clothes and it's something that's just been a part of me since I was a little child.  I often find myself thinking, "Oh, isn't that person beautifully dressed", or "Yikes!  What is that person thinking, wearing that in public?"  It's a bad habit I have always had and I need to rid myself of it.  As our forgiveness lifestyle grows, we should be starting to see humanity with love and in appreciation of the equality and oneness that is an inherent part of each person's higher self.  I know that I need to let go of my attachment to beauty and my difficulty in accepting things that are not beautiful. I'm much better than I used to be at this and I am grateful for my progress, but this is an area I must grow more in.

People do the craziest things and once we observe odd or difficult behavior, we must find forgiveness for it.  While relaxing by the pool at our hotel on one of our travel days, I watched a woman sit minding her children swim while dangling her feet in the pool.  She actually pulled out a pair of toenail nippers and began to give herself a manicure and pedicure flicking all the bits of nail and skin into the pool water!  Yes, she did!!!  It's a little hard not to judge something like that when you see it, and yes I did judge it, but I have now performed one of my forgiveness processes on her.

Feeling Victimized   Traveling can be so trying at times, that it can easily throw us into victim-mode.  Are we feeling put upon, hemmed in or herded around by the experience of traveling, the waits, the lines, the delayed schedules and traffic jams?  If we do, feelings of frustration, anger and hostility may be rising to the surface.  These are feelings that need to be accepted and then released and forgiven.  Sometimes these feelings flare up so quickly because we are re-experiencing feelings of victimization or being out of control that come from events in our childhood.  If you find yourself getting upset while you travel, do some thinking about what situations in your past felt similar to your current situation and then do a little forgiveness work on whatever comes up.

Insecurities   Being in new places and situations can sometimes be stressful and even a little frightening.  Even being in old familiar situations can be upsetting if we are feeling worried about how we will be perceived or accepted.  I found myself falling into this trap.  I worried that the shoes I had brought to wear were not right for the wedding so I went out and bought a new pair.  Moments after I paid for them, my back went into spasm and I had to spend the next three days in discomfort and moving with difficulty.  When something like this happens, take a moment to reflect on its meaning in your life.  As I looked at my feelings about seeing old friends, I realized that I was worried about how I would be accepted.  We may be tempted to dismiss the importance of our feelings because we believe them to be irrational, and yet, if we are feeling them, they are important.  Whatever happens in our world is always created in the mind first before it out-pictures into our lives.  I realized that my insecurities had triggered the episode with my back.  This gave me the opportunity to look into my mind and forgive myself for the fears that lurk there.

Getting Buttons Pushed   Of course, our biggest forgiveness work usually has to be done on the person that we spend the most time with.  On this trip my husband was doing the driving while I was doing the navigating with the GPS on my ipad.  It always feels to me that he is not listening to my instructions.  This pushes my buttons and I had to do a little forgiveness work on him for it.  One of the ways I forgive him is to see the situation from his point of view.  I'm sure that from his standpoint it feels like I am nagging him.  Plus I appreciate that it is difficult to drive in new places while dealing with heavy traffic, busy freeways and lots of confusion and stimulation.  It probably simply takes him a few moments to process the instructions I am giving him while he attempts to deal with all of this at once.

As I start to recognize my husband's feelings and his humanity, I am ultimately recognizing his truth.  He is just as much a creation of the Divine as I am.  When I acknowledge that, he is forgiven, and I am also forgiving myself.  After all, his truth is my truth.  We are both perfect spiritual beings.

Growth Opportunities   Remember that we can choose to see everything that comes up in our lives as an opportunity to forgive.   The more we forgive, the more we purify and grow on our pathway to love and peace.

What to do When You Find Yourself Judging

"I judge you not.

I extend forgiveness to myself for what I have created.

I embrace you, and I love you.  I free you to be yourself.

I bless you with the blessing of Christ." 

--Way of Mastery p. 34

These are words we can say when we find ourselves judging.  And as we say them we can visualize the image of the event or person we've judged gently dissolving into white light until there is no trace left of it.  

Then we can turn all thoughts and memories of the event or person over to Spirit.  Our work is now done. If, at some point in the future, there is anything more we need to do or say or think about, Spirit will let us know.  Until then, we are free to enjoy the peace that forgiveness brings.

Unblocking our Connection to Love

My Mind Holds Only What I Think With God

"That is a fact and represents the truth of What you are and What your Father is.  It is this thought by which the Father gave creation to the Son, establishing the Son as a co-creator with Himself.  It is this thought that fully guarantees salvation to the Son.  For in his mind no thoughts can dwell but those his Father shares.  Lack of forgiveness blocks this thought from his awareness.  Yet it is forever true." --A Course in Miracles Workbook Review IV p. 273

Lack of forgiveness blocks this thought from our awareness.  

This is one of the reasons why forgiveness is the key to happiness.  Our minds can never be fully restored to their true state, where we think and create with God, if we are holding grievances and judging others.

Simply put, we can never be happy when we are in a state of unforgiveness, because it blocks our connection to God.  And when our connection to God is blocked, we are not ourselves.  We are separated from our truth.  We are not the love we were created to be.  And we are unable to give and receive love fully in this state.

When we hold grievances and judge others, we are refusing to recognize the truth that not only were we created by the father as a co-creator, but that everyone else was, too!!

It is in the recognizing of this very fact, that we are all equal and the same...that we are all one...that we are all, simply, love...that we come to receive our own happiness.

Yes, other people forget their truth and do stupid, ignorant and selfish things here.  But it is our responsibility as a true Son of God, to take the higher ground, to know their truth for them by holding a place of love in our minds for them.  And in so doing, we offer them (on a mental plane) a place to grow into their own knowing of their own truth, that they too, are simply, love.  We offer them the chance to heal when we forgive them through our recognition of who they really are, co-creators of God.

 

Because after all, this is all about the mind.  It's about what we do in our thinking.  All minds are connected.  So when we forgive and offer love instead of fear, we are healing our own minds and we are offering healing to our trespassers as well.  And that is their chance to heal along with us.

Grace Period

Sometimes, when feelings are recently raw, it's difficult to forgive right away...and that's okay.  It's okay to let a little time heal over the pain before getting down and dirty with the real forgiveness work.  Sometimes we just don't have the strength to face it right away and we know that if we even so much as try to, we'll melt down or be unable to do whatever it is we have to do to get through the day.

Raw feelings can be very painful.  It's actually a good thing to honor our feelings and sit with them a bit.  I always allow myself to experience the sadness or the anger for awhile.  Processing and working through feelings is a good thing (And, by the way, we're not going to stay in this stage for very long anyway.  In a little while, we'll be doing our usual forgiveness work.)

While we're feeling raw, however, we can help hasten the healing while we're mentally shoring up the strength to do the real work.  When we are utterly broken and wounded and obsessing about what happened, we can always practice turning all our thoughts, hurts and fears over to Spirit as often as possible.  I like to just give those thoughts over whenever they come into my mind.  Just saying the words, "Holy Spirit, I am giving this ________ over to you", is all we really have to do.  I'm pretty visual, so sometimes I like to picture a beautiful white and shining marble altar that I can lay my burdens down on.  Once I've placed my burdens on the altar they are surrounded by white light and dissolved.

I also find that simply saying the words, "I forgive you, I release you, I bless you with love" repeatedly (as one would an affirmation) helps alleviate some of the pain.  This is not my final forgiveness work, of course, but it is an easy start and helps me to ease into the forgiveness.

Once I actually start to do the real forgiveness, I find occasionally that I will do one of my forgiveness process and complete the forgiveness, only to find myself feeling utterly angry and hurt all over again a few hours later.  When this happens, I just repeat the forgiveness.  This can go on for days and weeks and sometimes, if the wound is big enough, years.  Again, that's okay.  We can only give it our best effort.  Our intention to heal is what's important here.

Also, asking Spirit to help us turn our feelings of anger, hurt and fear to love will often help us to make important progress.

There's no denying it, life can be painful at times and no-one escapes this.  However, supporting ourselves with understanding and acceptance as we go about the job of healing and forgiving is the fastest way back to peace.

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What is Unforgiven is Reposited in Our Bodies

"Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache, and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life."

  - Joan Lunden

It's true.  The more we forgive, the more peaceful we feel.  And the more we forgive (which heals our minds), the more we actually heal our physical bodies, too. 

Our bodies are repositories for past pain and hurt.  Unfortunately, if we hang onto these old harmful memories, we are also holding onto the pain and, over time, that pain is likely to transform into disease.  

Using forgiveness, we can clear our bodies of the physical symptoms that are left over from old emotional hurts.

There are several ways to remove old deposited pain from our bodies. For serious past wounds, I find it helpful to use several forgiveness processes. 

First, if I can pinpoint an event in my life that caused the wound, I'll forgive all the people involved.  It only takes me a few minutes to do this and I always use the same words and thoughts.  They are simple to learn.  Most importantly, time and time again, they have helped me to switch my mind over from fear (hurt and anger) to love.  If you're not sure how to forgive people that have caused you injury, you might want to download an audio recording I've made to guide you though this process. Once you listen to it a few times, you'll be able to forgive anyone easily, too. This process helps you forgive individual people on a mental level. 

Download and transfer to your iphone.  Cost: $2.99

Next, I'll tackle the physical component of forgiveness.  I'll go to work on the places in my body those old painful memories are stored.  I do this by remembering carefully all the details of the past event.  I try to put myself back in that moment of hurt and anger and I try to jack up my memories and corresponding emotions as much as possible.  

As I re-experience this old wound, I observe my body, noticing any stress symptoms that might show up. Sometimes this is a racing heartbeat, a tightening of the chest, a feeling of warmth rising in my head or a stabbing pain in my stomach.  The physical symptoms are different for different past hurts.  

Now I just sit and observe, amplifying the emotions and memories as much as I can.  Sometimes the pain moves around and changes.  Other times, memories from similar events that occurred in other times and places come to mind.  I allow this all to flow through my mind and my body, simply observing and feeling whatever feelings come up.  It's important to let this process run its course thoroughly so that the memories will dissipate and lift from the body.  

There is a more detailed description of this in my book, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness".  I've also created another guided audio meditation for this process.  It's easy to download to your computer.  You can then upload it to your phone so you can use it with your headphones whenever you have a quiet moment to yourself.  I like to do a lot of my forgiveness work in bed at night before sleep but you can do this anywhere you can find the quiet you need to concentrate. 

Easy to use, guided meditation to forgive and release physical symptoms from past hurts. $2.99

EFT, or emotional freedom technique is a process where you speak words that describe painful memories and feelings while tapping on acupressure points.  This tapping somehow disconnects and clears through the pain stored in the body from the memory.  It seems odd, but surprisingly, it works.  EFT has become a widely respected technique used by therapists around the world.  To learn more, watch this quickie video with Jessica Ortner.  

EFT is an effective technique for clearing stored and painful memories from the body and I do feel that this is a form of forgiveness.  However, the most healing work is mental.  It is important to combine EFT with some prior deep mental work such as the two guided processes above.  In this way, we are forgiving and clearing first in the mind and then following up with a clearance and healing in physical form.  

Of course, if we heal the mental, eventually the body will follow.  With EFT, we are just speeding up the process. 

Ask to Forgive

An "angel" will come.  An angel from deep within ourselves. A voice for love.  Ask to have that voice.  An experience of truth, not the same-old ego-story.

When you are sick and tired of chaos, confusion, pain and fear, ask for help.

Be willing, even if it is willing that it will happen later.

Ask for the help.  Love is available to every one of us.  Love is our deep immortal truth.  No matter who you think you are and what you think you've done, you are actually only love,  what you have done is only love.  You cannot be otherwise. You are not the exception to love.

We are all one.  We are all the same.  We were, each and every one, created by the Divine to be perfect.  The Divine creates in his own image and he is, simply, love.  Therefore, no matter how you deny it and run from it...you are love, too.

And you can be nothing but love.  God is only love and God is all there is.  There is nothing more that you can be.  You are not separate from God.  You are what he is, no matter how you decieve yourself.  You may choose to perceive that you are bad, wrong or sinful.  You may choose to perceive that others are bad, wrong or sinful.  But it is merely perception, not truth.

 There is no duality.  Our "dream world" of fear, violence, hatred, anger and frustration is only an illusion.  Ask to be freed of this illusion and to see the truth of yourself.  You are love.

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