When Forgiveness Seems Difficult

Yes, it's true...forgiveness can seem overwhelming when we're not in a regular forgiveness practice.  The first time we sit down and truly tackle forgiving someone, it can feel almost impossible.

That's happening for two reasons.  The first is that our ego loves to hold tight to our grudges, cherishing our wounds and flaming up the intensity of our pain.  The second reason is that we simply don't have the tools we need to forgive.

The first step is to use logic against the ego.  After all, it's actually very logical to forgive.  Holding grudges prevents us from experiencing happiness and inner peace.  We need to firmly tell our egos to get out of our way and to let us try forgiveness.

Baby steps.  Then, for our first time out of the box, let's just try a tiny forgiveness baby step.  Just sit quietly, with closed eyes and visualize that we are sending a huge stream of white light to our trespasser.  It's really that simple.  We are flipping the switch.  We're going from anger and resentment to love.  It may not feel like deep love yet, but we're making a very important step with our gift of white light.

And that's all it takes!  It's not necessary to call and make up with this person.  It's not necessary to apologize or take them out to lunch.  In fact, it's OK if we never see them again. We don't have to be friends with someone who has hurt us in the past.  But we do need to let our hurt feelings and anger release.   Just flip the switch from fear to love with the gift of white light and we will have made a great step forward in the act of forgiving.

It's likely that a few hours from now, or a few days from now, we'll find ourselves once again feeling annoyed or hurt and upset about this same person.  That's OK.  Just go back to using a little more white light whenever our thoughts go dark.  We are flipping the switch again from fear to love. Each time we forgive with our white light, the fear will be lessened.   And we'll keep sending white light until we have completely forgiven...because we know that a lifestyle of forgiveness leads to a life of happiness.

If you like this experience and would like to learn deeper forgiveness processes:

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And if you would like to gently guided through a quick and easy to use but very effective process for forgiving someone, download "Forgive Someone NOW".  Only $2.99.

Flip the Switch

Forgiveness is a matter of flipping the switch.  We go from fear to love.  From attack to generosity.  From thinking with the ego to thinking with Spirit.  From thoughts of torment, worry and trouble to thoughts of calm and inner peace.

At first, it's difficult to flip the switch.  We love our grudges.  They are cherished by us and we think we'll be giving up something we need if we release them.  But actually, they are nothing.  They bring us only pain.  Once released, we are happier.

With practice, we find it easier to just drop our grievance thinking and forgive.  Like anything else in life, the more we do it, the better we get at it.  Forgiveness becomes easy.  Most importantly, as we live the rewards of forgiveness we watch the happiness growing in our lives.  The more it grows, the more we want to forgive.

So come on, come on....get happy!

Start your happiness today.  For an easy guided forgiveness process, download Forgive Someone NOW for $2.99, here. You can load it onto your computer and then sinc it into your smart phone to listen to on head phones at night before you go to sleep.

Or download a copy of "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness";

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Forgive Yourself Through the Act of Forgiving Others

Forgiveness is the means by which I learn I have done nothing to forgive.

When we forgive others we acknowledge that everyone's true nature is God's nature. Of course, living on Earth, many of us lose sight of our true nature.  We forget who we really are and we slip into attack behaviors.  It happens to all of us on occasion and some more frequently.

We attack others because we feel guilty.  We all have huge stores of sub-conscious guilt that we're not really aware of .  We project our own guilt onto other folks because it helps us feel better about ourselves.

If you don't believe me about the guilt, just try this experiment.  Sometime when you're alone, ask to be shown your pain and anger.  Just give yourself permission to scream.  You'll be amazed at what comes out of your throat.

We are all hurting and angry under the surface.  We live in fear but we suppress it in order to function in our daily lives.  However, when we begin to forgive others, this fear and guilt begins to dissipate.  This is because as we learn to see and know the higher truth about the other people in our world, we slowly begin to be convinced about our own higher truth.

Not only that, but what we give out comes back to us.  When we give out attack, we are attacked.  When we give out forgiveness, we are forgiven.  When we give love and acceptance.  We are loved and accepted.

Give forgiveness a chance to heal your world.  Try it.  You'll like it!

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A State of Grace

When you have forgiven everything, you are in a state of Grace.  Life is happy and free.  You are at peace.  You have found the Heaven that resides within.

This is a state that happens when you live a forgiveness lifestyle.  You forgive the daily annoyances and hurts that come your way.  You stop judging others.  You go into your past memories and you release and forgive everything you are aware of.

You remain constantly on alert, looking for anything you can forgive.  Something will show up, it always does. After all, we are here to learn and grow...a new forgiveness opportunity will always show.  And when the opportunity comes to you, you set aside the time to do your forgiveness work.

When you live like this day after day, week after week,  year after year, the joy in you slowly builds.  A feeling of love floods into every aspect of your life.  Until one day, you look around and you say to yourself, "Wow, I am actually living the "happy dream".  It's here in my life now.

Then maintenance is your job, being ever vigilant to stay in that perfect state of Grace, forgiving everything that comes your way.

"Forgiveness turns the world of sin into a world of glory, wonderful to see.  Each flower shines in light, and every bird sings of the joy of Heaven.  There is no sadness and there is no parting here, for everything is totally forgiven  And what has been forgiven must join, for nothing stands between to keep them separate and apart.  The sinless must perceive that they are one, for nothing stands between to push the other off.  And in the space that sin left vacant do they join as one, in gladness recognizing what is part of them has not been kept apart and separate."       --A Course in Miracles, Chapter 26, IV, 2

Well, what are you waiting for?  Happiness is yours for the taking.

 "This tiny spot of sin that stands between you and your brother still is holding back the happy opening of Heaven's gate.  How little is the hindrance that withholds the wealth of Heaven from you.  And how great will be the joy in Heaven when you join the mighty chorus to the Love of God!"   --A Course in Miracles, Chapter 26, IV, 6

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“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.”

"Forgiveness is not an occasional act.  It is a permanent attitude."

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness."

"I have decided to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear."

Thank You, Dr. Martin Luther King, for changing our world!

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When Other People Disappoint

We all do it.  We get attached to the idea that other people in our lives will be a certain way.  Perhaps we expect our spouses or lovers to be strong, beautiful and infallible. Or we might expect our children to be happy, liked and well-adjusted.  Or our friends to be easy-going, loyal and available.  And maybe we want our parents to be fair, loving and supportive.   

The expectations may differ from person to person or situation to situation, but one thing never changes...we get attached to wanting our family, friends and associates to be a certain way. 

Unfortunately, the world often does not meet up with our decisions about what it should be.  We get attached to these decisions and since we are attached to them, we feel disappointed and hurt when the world does not meet them.  

Releasing attachments to our decisions about what life should be like is a form of forgiveness.  Accepting others as they are, knowing that whomever they are and whatever they are doing is the right thing for them at this moment, is the most loving thing we can do. 

 

We are each here with our own unique set of lessons.  None of us know the entire truth about anyone else's overall soul intentions and pathway.  Forgive and accept the people in your life when they fail to be what you want for them.  Allowing the world is the key to your own peace.  

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A Little Slide Downward

I usually forgive just about everything as soon as I am aware that I am feeling annoyed, hurt or upset.  After all, I have a forgiveness lifestyle.  Forgiveness keeps me happy and it keeps my world easy and comfortable to live in.  So I value and appreciate my life lessons and try to forgive my world each day.  

But last week I had a little slump.  Here's what happened.  Right before bed one evening, my husband snapped at me when I was trying to tell him about our plans for the next day.  Instead of overlooking and forgiving him, I got annoyed.  And I kept feeling annoyed because...I LIKED IT!  I indulged myself.  I let myself get good and angry with him.    

And here's what happened next...

I woke up at 3 AM and was unable to go back to sleep. The next morning as we were trying to meet our friends to ski together, we missed the bus they were on.  Then we went to get my iphone out of our ski locker so we could make a plan to meet up with them later.  We found my phone submerged in an inch of vegetable juice in the bottom of my purse (I had tossed in a plastic bottle of the stuff on the run to meet our friends... smart?)  I turned it on and shorted it out, killing it permanently.

All afternoon I continued to feel annoyed with my husband...so he, of course, began to act really annoying.  I went to bed feeling hurt and put upon.  The next morning was my birthday.  None of my friends and family called to wish me Happy Birthday.  Well, actually, they did, but my phone was dead, of course.  Now I began to feel sorry for myself.  Then I burned my hand cooking dinner.  Next, my husband, in an effort to repair a broken light sconce in our powder room, somehow shorted out the electricity in half our house.  I went to bed with business worries on my mind instead of my usually peaceful thoughts.

At this point I began to recognize that my switch from thinking with love to thinking with fear was beginning to do a little damage in my life.  I could get a new phone, my hand would heal, my husband could  repair the light fixture.  I figured I'd better stop while I was ahead.  If I didn't, I'd risk drawing some seriously bad stuff into my life.  

And so I forgave him.  I felt better.  He felt better.  A new phone arrived in the mail.  The light sconce got fixed.  My hand stopped hurting. I got a good night's sleep.  My clients all emailed or called with happy messages.  Best of all, there were Happy Birthday wishes waiting for me on my new phone.  

My world keeps reminding me that happiness is a choice.

This is often what actually happens in real life.  When we are acting with the ego and living in fear, we create problems and upsets in our lives.  When we forgive and choose to join our thoughts with the Holy Spirit, we create peace and happiness.  Watch your life and see if you don't see similar patterns emerging.

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