Words from Jennifer Hadley:
"I’ve come to realize that all feelings of fear are the result of choosing separation from Spirit in some form or another. It always comes down to a judgment, an opinion.
The more I cultivate a pristine awareness, a release of all opinions and judgments, the more peaceful I feel. The more safe and secure I feel. The more I feel free to Love and be loved.
Fear is not caused by anything other than choosing to value a belief in separation from each other and from God. Practice non-judgment and watch the peace emerge and the fear recede.
Don’t take my word for it. Prove it. When you choose to block Love from your heart and mind, you feel afraid. When you choose to block Love from your heart and mind, you are cutting the communication with the ALL in ALL – and that’s why you feel afraid.
If you don’t enjoy feeling afraid, choose again."
You can find more of Jennifer Hadley at: jenniferhadley.com/blog.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Judgments, Expectations and Behaviors of Wanting
I really love Colin Tipping's Radical Forgiveness forms and I have used many to forgive people and events from my past. There is an entire chapter on Radical Forgiveness in my book, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness", and I recommend them in my forgiveness workshops. (The forms are available for free at www.colintipping.com under "Free Stuff").
If you are a regular follower of this blog, you know that I often encourage readers to "flip the switch" from fear to love as a part of the forgiveness process. Flipping the switch occurs the moment we stop judging and condemning and offer any sort of love, understanding or compassion to our trespasser.
In Colin Tipping's form he asks a number of questions that build upon each other culminating in the flipping of the switch. One of the questions I love is this (substitute your trespasser's name for the X):
When we dis-attach ourselves from expectations, wanting and emotional needs, then we are free to live in peace and joy.
We often create "needs" in our minds. We might think, "I can't be happy if (X) doesn't love me." Or, "My life is a failure if I don't get a job with an important company." Or, "I need to live in a beautiful house to be happy." Or, "I need to be healthy to be happy." All of these kinds of beliefs are just things we tell ourselves. Think about each of these statements above. Are any of them really true? Happiness and inner peace come from releasing judgments and accepting whatever is.
When we create desired outcomes in our minds and get attached to them, we are only setting ourselves up for failure and misery. In fact, attachments of any kind only set us up for pain. Attachments to people, to places, to things are what create most of the pain in our lives. When we just allow what is to be and accept the world around us as it is, we begin the process of creating inner peace in our minds.
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There is a great big, beautiful, joyful world right here in front of us and in our minds. And it is "what is". There is plenty here to keep us satisfied if we will only flip the switch from fear to love and allow ourselves to see the truth around us.
If you are a regular follower of this blog, you know that I often encourage readers to "flip the switch" from fear to love as a part of the forgiveness process. Flipping the switch occurs the moment we stop judging and condemning and offer any sort of love, understanding or compassion to our trespasser.
In Colin Tipping's form he asks a number of questions that build upon each other culminating in the flipping of the switch. One of the questions I love is this (substitute your trespasser's name for the X):
"My discontent was my signal that I was withholding love from myself and (X) by judging, holding expectations, wanting (X) to change, and seeing (X) as less than perfect. List the judgments, expectations and behaviors that indicate you were wanting (X) to change."So often, our hurt and pain occurs when we want either someone in our lives, or the world around us to be a certain way.
When we dis-attach ourselves from expectations, wanting and emotional needs, then we are free to live in peace and joy.
We often create "needs" in our minds. We might think, "I can't be happy if (X) doesn't love me." Or, "My life is a failure if I don't get a job with an important company." Or, "I need to live in a beautiful house to be happy." Or, "I need to be healthy to be happy." All of these kinds of beliefs are just things we tell ourselves. Think about each of these statements above. Are any of them really true? Happiness and inner peace come from releasing judgments and accepting whatever is.
When we create desired outcomes in our minds and get attached to them, we are only setting ourselves up for failure and misery. In fact, attachments of any kind only set us up for pain. Attachments to people, to places, to things are what create most of the pain in our lives. When we just allow what is to be and accept the world around us as it is, we begin the process of creating inner peace in our minds.
There is a great big, beautiful, joyful world right here in front of us and in our minds. And it is "what is". There is plenty here to keep us satisfied if we will only flip the switch from fear to love and allow ourselves to see the truth around us.
Available at:
amazon.com
barnesandnoble.com
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Happiness is an Attribute of Love
Happiness is an attribute of love. It cannot be apart from it. Nor can it be experienced where love is not. --A Course in Miracles, Lesson 102
This is why forgiveness is the key to happiness. When we hold grievances and judge others we are out of alignment with love. When we are out of alignment, it is not possible for us to be truly happy.
We may have fleeting moments of happy experiences, but deep true abiding happiness can never be a significant and lasting factor in our lives until we forgive the world around us.
Many of us look at our lives and think, "But I have a good job and I found the right spouse. We have money to live on and a comfortable house and children that are healthy and busy. I must be happy."
Comfort and busyness are not happiness. They are pale shadows for true happiness. In true happiness, we feel a deep trust and utter knowing that we are completely supported, infinitely valued and always cared for in every way. We are joyful and loves flows from us and into us.
This is the happiness that a forgiveness lifestyle brings.
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Friday, March 28, 2014
Two Ways to Get Happy Quick
1. Scan your mind for whomever is annoying, hurting, upsetting or victimizing you today and forgive them. (Need help forgiving? Download this quickie forgiveness process for $2.99, here)
2. Click play:
2. Click play:
Thursday, March 27, 2014
When Thoughts Go Bump in the Night
Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and find that your mind is filled with worry and fear? Even those of us that work hard to eradicate fear thoughts during the day may find that our mind sometimes floods with upsetting thoughts in that state between waking and sleep.
This is a sign that we have some clean up work to do in our mind. A forgiveness lifestyle will help lessen the fear.
In the meantime, what can we do when we wake to find ourselves in the dark shadow of the night? We have two choices. We can elect to deal with the subjects that are coming up right then and there. If we are willing to just go with it and lose a few hours of sleep, this is a perfect time to do some forgiveness work. The Feel the Feelings process which can be found in Chapter 3 of "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" is perfect for these times. (There is also a downloadable audio meditation of this process available here for $2.99. Why not just slip the headphones on and do the work right in bed?)
Or, for those of us that have to be up early in the mornings to deal with jobs or kids, getting back to peace so that we can sleep is essential. It's important to "flip the switch" in our minds from fear to love. One way to do this is with affirmations. When we concentrate on repeating positive words over and over, there is no room left in our minds for the fear thoughts.
Before starting the affirmations, it is a good idea to give the fear thinking over to Spirit. You can just say in your mind, "I am giving this over to you, Spirit." Or, if you are visual, you can create a beautiful white and gleaming marble altar in your mind. Make it all lit up, glowing and gorgeously bright. Place your fear thoughts on the altar and watch them be consumed with white flames of Infinite love.
What affirmations are best? I like "I accept the love of God" or "Thank you God, for creating me." An affirmation I'm currently working with is "I accept the happiness that God intends me to have." Of course, you can choose any affirmation that works for you personally and flips you over from fear to love.
I once read someplace that an hour of meditation is equal to three hours of sleep. Is this true? If this is so, you can calmly enjoy your affirmations, knowing that each moment you spend with them is contributing to a positive, powerful and energetic day tomorrow.
The Witching Hour
This is a sign that we have some clean up work to do in our mind. A forgiveness lifestyle will help lessen the fear.
In the meantime, what can we do when we wake to find ourselves in the dark shadow of the night? We have two choices. We can elect to deal with the subjects that are coming up right then and there. If we are willing to just go with it and lose a few hours of sleep, this is a perfect time to do some forgiveness work. The Feel the Feelings process which can be found in Chapter 3 of "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" is perfect for these times. (There is also a downloadable audio meditation of this process available here for $2.99. Why not just slip the headphones on and do the work right in bed?)
Or, for those of us that have to be up early in the mornings to deal with jobs or kids, getting back to peace so that we can sleep is essential. It's important to "flip the switch" in our minds from fear to love. One way to do this is with affirmations. When we concentrate on repeating positive words over and over, there is no room left in our minds for the fear thoughts.
Flip the Switch from Fear to Love
Before starting the affirmations, it is a good idea to give the fear thinking over to Spirit. You can just say in your mind, "I am giving this over to you, Spirit." Or, if you are visual, you can create a beautiful white and gleaming marble altar in your mind. Make it all lit up, glowing and gorgeously bright. Place your fear thoughts on the altar and watch them be consumed with white flames of Infinite love.
What affirmations are best? I like "I accept the love of God" or "Thank you God, for creating me." An affirmation I'm currently working with is "I accept the happiness that God intends me to have." Of course, you can choose any affirmation that works for you personally and flips you over from fear to love.
I once read someplace that an hour of meditation is equal to three hours of sleep. Is this true? If this is so, you can calmly enjoy your affirmations, knowing that each moment you spend with them is contributing to a positive, powerful and energetic day tomorrow.
Available at:
amazon.com
baresandnoble.com
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
We're the Ones That Feel Bad
When we don't forgive, we're only creating more suffering for ourselves. Leaving negative emotions unresolved eats away at us. It damages out bodies physically and it damages our minds. When we allow grievances to accumulate in our mind, they block any chance we have of accessing our natural inner peace.
Do the words natural inner peace surprise you? Yes, our natural state is inner peace. However, from our earliest years, we start to harbor psychic wounds. We allow the hurts to accumulate and clump together in our subconscious. We start to believe ideas like these:
I am a bad person.
I am not smart.
I am not worthy.
Nobody likes me.
I am not love-able.
Life is unfair.
The world is cruel.
Bad things happen.
When we allow these ideas to take over, we suffer.
And the more we think thoughts like these, the more we draw events toward us that re-enforce these very ideas. We work a theme. Perhaps it's a belief in abandonment. Maybe there was an incident as a very small child where we felt abandoned. We may find that throughout our lifetime we re-experience those same feelings. On a regular basis, events transpire in which we are "abandoned" yet one more time.
The only way to stop the cycle of hurt is to forgive and release the grievances. We can start by working on the most recent experience of abandonment. We can forgive the event and anyone involved in it. That will go along way toward resolving this issue. However, it is best to root it out fully. We do this by searching our memories for the earliest time when we felt this emotion. We sit with these feelings and experience them fully until they move through us. We remember, contemplate, feel the feelings and release.
This takes time and it takes a commitment to look deep, be open to epiphanies, to keep studying ourselves, week after week and month after month. Things will be revealed. Aha moments will happen. And as we understand more about what occurred in our past, as we forgive and release, we will begin the process of restoring that natural inner peace.
We all have a choice. We can continue to let fear run our daily lives, or we can do the work and forgive our world. It takes a lot of inner work to create a forgiveness lifestyle and it unfolds slowly over the course of several years, if one is fully committed. However, once we do this work, we live largely in peace. Happiness is once again our ordinary state.
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Ask yourself, are you really truly happy? Or are you substituting a nice car, a good job, busy children and a comfortable house for true happiness. Are you just telling yourself that this is what happiness is? Because happiness is so much more than a busy comfortable life. True happiness comes from a deep inner peace that only forgiveness can bring.
Do the words natural inner peace surprise you? Yes, our natural state is inner peace. However, from our earliest years, we start to harbor psychic wounds. We allow the hurts to accumulate and clump together in our subconscious. We start to believe ideas like these:
I am a bad person.
I am not smart.
I am not worthy.
Nobody likes me.
I am not love-able.
Life is unfair.
The world is cruel.
Bad things happen.
When we allow these ideas to take over, we suffer.
And the more we think thoughts like these, the more we draw events toward us that re-enforce these very ideas. We work a theme. Perhaps it's a belief in abandonment. Maybe there was an incident as a very small child where we felt abandoned. We may find that throughout our lifetime we re-experience those same feelings. On a regular basis, events transpire in which we are "abandoned" yet one more time.
The only way to stop the cycle of hurt is to forgive and release the grievances. We can start by working on the most recent experience of abandonment. We can forgive the event and anyone involved in it. That will go along way toward resolving this issue. However, it is best to root it out fully. We do this by searching our memories for the earliest time when we felt this emotion. We sit with these feelings and experience them fully until they move through us. We remember, contemplate, feel the feelings and release.
This takes time and it takes a commitment to look deep, be open to epiphanies, to keep studying ourselves, week after week and month after month. Things will be revealed. Aha moments will happen. And as we understand more about what occurred in our past, as we forgive and release, we will begin the process of restoring that natural inner peace.
We all have a choice. We can continue to let fear run our daily lives, or we can do the work and forgive our world. It takes a lot of inner work to create a forgiveness lifestyle and it unfolds slowly over the course of several years, if one is fully committed. However, once we do this work, we live largely in peace. Happiness is once again our ordinary state.
Ask yourself, are you really truly happy? Or are you substituting a nice car, a good job, busy children and a comfortable house for true happiness. Are you just telling yourself that this is what happiness is? Because happiness is so much more than a busy comfortable life. True happiness comes from a deep inner peace that only forgiveness can bring.
Forgiveness is a lot easier than you may think. If you would like to forgive, but don't know how to start, "Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness" outlines many easy processes to help you learn to forgive. Amazingly, forgiveness actually becomes pleasurable and something you will look forward to.
Available at:
amazon.com
barnesandnoble.com
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Withholding Love
On a quantum level, we are all joined. All minds are joined. That means that when we refuse to forgive someone, or when we judge someone, on a sub-conscious level, they know.
A while back I read about experiments with plants where love and praise was lavishly given or withheld. In the studies, each family was given a plant and asked to keep it on their kitchen table where it would be seen frequently by all member of the family. Half of the families were asked to praise and give love to the plants each time they entered the room. "I love you. You are beautiful. You are magnificent. You are a wonderful addition to our home."
The other families were asked to scold and ignore the plant. "I hate you. You are ugly. Why are you even here?"
What happened? The loved plants flourished and the despised plants died. Yes, they DIED!
Let's talk for a moment about what happens to others when we either refuse to forgive or we forgive them (in tomorrow's post I will talk about what happens to ourselves). If we choose to judge others harshly, they do suffer. Everyone of us knows how it feels to be in someone's bad graces. This suffering also happens on an unseen level. Whether they know consciously that we are not forgiving them, they do know sub-consciously. Remember that only a small part of our awareness is conscious. The much bigger part of us is sub-conscious. Just like the plants, any people we choose not to forgive will suffer.
On the other hand, when we choose to forgive, they heal. Consciously, they may not know why, and we may not know why, but when we forgive others it changes them. Forgiveness means focusing loving feelings towards others. Love changes everything.
In The Hidden Messages of Water, Dr. Emoto proved that thoughts and feelings affect physical reality. "By producing different focused intentions through written and spoken words and music and literally presenting it to the same water samples, the water appears to change its expression." --What the Bleep Do We Know?
A while back I read about experiments with plants where love and praise was lavishly given or withheld. In the studies, each family was given a plant and asked to keep it on their kitchen table where it would be seen frequently by all member of the family. Half of the families were asked to praise and give love to the plants each time they entered the room. "I love you. You are beautiful. You are magnificent. You are a wonderful addition to our home."
The other families were asked to scold and ignore the plant. "I hate you. You are ugly. Why are you even here?"
What happened? The loved plants flourished and the despised plants died. Yes, they DIED!
Let's talk for a moment about what happens to others when we either refuse to forgive or we forgive them (in tomorrow's post I will talk about what happens to ourselves). If we choose to judge others harshly, they do suffer. Everyone of us knows how it feels to be in someone's bad graces. This suffering also happens on an unseen level. Whether they know consciously that we are not forgiving them, they do know sub-consciously. Remember that only a small part of our awareness is conscious. The much bigger part of us is sub-conscious. Just like the plants, any people we choose not to forgive will suffer.
On the other hand, when we choose to forgive, they heal. Consciously, they may not know why, and we may not know why, but when we forgive others it changes them. Forgiveness means focusing loving feelings towards others. Love changes everything.
In The Hidden Messages of Water, Dr. Emoto proved that thoughts and feelings affect physical reality. "By producing different focused intentions through written and spoken words and music and literally presenting it to the same water samples, the water appears to change its expression." --What the Bleep Do We Know?
Water Crystals Given Love and Gratitude
Water Crystals Played Heavy Metal Music
We may think that holding grievances is a harmless, neutral act, but it is not. When we refuse to forgive, we are actually HARMING others.
I really don't want to be that person. I don't want to harm anyone, really, even annoying people. I can see clearly that it is my job just get over it! I must not allow myself to feel provoked, injured or even annoyed by anyone because I don't want to do harm.
Join me in non-violent thought!
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