Tuesday, January 28, 2014

When Forgiveness Seems Difficult

Yes, it's true...forgiveness can seem overwhelming when we're not in a regular forgiveness practice.  The first time we sit down and truly tackle forgiving someone, it can feel almost impossible.

That's happening for two reasons.  The first is that our ego loves to hold tight to our grudges, cherishing our wounds and flaming up the intensity of our pain.  The second reason is that we simply don't have the tools we need to forgive.

The first step is to use logic against the ego.  After all, it's actually very logical to forgive.  Holding grudges prevents us from experiencing happiness and inner peace.  We need to firmly tell our egos to get out of our way and to let us try forgiveness.

Baby steps.  Then, for our first time out of the box, let's just try a tiny forgiveness baby step.  Just sit quietly, with closed eyes and visualize that we are sending a huge stream of white light to our trespasser.  It's really that simple.  We are flipping the switch.  We're going from anger and resentment to love.  It may not feel like deep love yet, but we're making a very important step with our gift of white light.

And that's all it takes!  It's not necessary to call and make up with this person.  It's not necessary to apologize or take them out to lunch.  In fact, it's OK if we never see them again. We don't have to be friends with someone who has hurt us in the past.  But we do need to let our hurt feelings and anger release.   Just flip the switch from fear to love with the gift of white light and we will have made a great step forward in the act of forgiving.

It's likely that a few hours from now, or a few days from now, we'll find ourselves once again feeling annoyed or hurt and upset about this same person.  That's OK.  Just go back to using a little more white light whenever our thoughts go dark.  We are flipping the switch again from fear to love. Each time we forgive with our white light, the fear will be lessened.   And we'll keep sending white light until we have completely forgiven...because we know that a lifestyle of forgiveness leads to a life of happiness.

If you like this experience and would like to learn deeper forgiveness processes:

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