How Projection Works

Judging others initially makes us feel good because we project our own shortcomings and insecurities onto the people we're judging.  In this way, we get to feel superior.  Think of projection just like going to the movies.  The projector throws the images away from itself and onto a screen.  This is what we do with the parts of ourselves we don't like.  We project or throw them off onto others because doing so momentarily makes us feel "special" and better than everybody else.

Of course, in a short while, the guilt that we create in our sub-conscious minds from judging others significantly outweighs any slight pleasure that we received in the original moment of judging.

If this idea that you are actually judging others of your own shortcomings seems surprising or hard to believe to you (as it originally did to me), you will need to do some deep thinking and observing as to the things you judge others for.  If you judge others for being overweight, look into your own fears that you won't be accepted by others.  If you judge someone for being too critical, look at your own habits of criticizing.   If you judge someone for physically attacking another person, think of all the times when you would have loved to do the same.

Remember, It's not what we physically do in this 3D earthly world.  What's really important is what is in our minds.  That's where the real action is.  It's our thought patterns that we are working to clean up.  I assume that if you're reading this blog, you are not running around shooting people.  What I'm discussing here is a more advanced level of thinking (although I say this being careful not to judge others who are not yet at this higher mental place).

A judgement or attack thought against anyone should be as concerning to us as it would be if we had actually physically attacked them.  After all, all minds are joined and a mental attack is known to our attackee on a sub-conscious level.  Yes, I'm saying that when we judge others, they know it.

We think that judging others is a harmless habit.  However, it is a dangerous habit for three reasons.  First because what we give out we get back.  If we judge others, we will be judged.  Second, because judging prevents us from doing the purification work in our minds required for our awakening.  It creates mental blocks in our mind.  And third because it is damaging to the people we judge.

I love the following section on judging in The Way of Mastery.  It shows how we all not only participate in judging but have created an elaborate system which is designed to do the judging for us so that we don't have to feel the guilt.  This is projection on a societal scale.

"In fact, the legal system means merely to take the act of projection and the need to judge and to make it okay socially, so that you need not be concerned with this other as your brother or as your sister who has been crying out for help.  Rather, you become justified in punishment.  Yet punishment is only the insane attempt to convince the punisher that the darkness, the evil--whatever you want to call it--is not in them, it is out there. 

Imagine a society in which the prevalent legal view is simply that your brother or your sister is an aspect of yourself.  And if you would help yourself, you must help them--meeting each cry for help and healing with forgiveness, love and support.  Can you imagine, for a moment, what it would be like to live in such a society?  How would it be different than the world you see?" --ps. 28-9

This is beautiful food for thought.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could one day start early to find our troubled children and create ways to forgive and nourish their souls so that they as adults they can feel loved and cherished in our society, instead of disenfranchised and angry?  In the meantime, we need to start this work on an individual level in our own minds.  As we heal our minds of the habit of judging, others around us become healed.

 Healing one's mind of the habit of judging is not something that happens over-night.  Habits are hard to break.  But it can be done.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to become aware each time you judge.  Then choose again.  Replace those judging thoughts with thoughts of kindness, loving understanding and forgiveness.  This is how we heal the world.

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"Compassion is an attitude that upholds the memory of wholeness for people when they are lost in separation, pain and conflict."

I often talk about "flipping the switch" from love to fear.  Forgiveness happens at the very moment that we flip that switch.

One moment we are feeling thoughts of fear; anger, hurt, resentment, frustration, annoyance, irritation, victim-hood, upset, pain, rage and most importantly a sense that we are ultimately unloveable.  We flip that switch by dropping the fear thoughts of separation and isolation and replacing them with love thoughts.  We don't have to go all the way to full love, the switch happens the moment we start up the road to love; sympathy, understanding, compassion, hopefulness and a sense of sharing and oneness.

"Love is also grounded in an attitude of compassion.  Compassion is necessary for our survival and our evolution.  Compassion is an attitude that upholds the memories of wholeness for people when they are lost in separation, pain and conflict.  Compassion is love's holding environment.  It is how love whispers to us, "I will remember the truth of who you are even when you cannot remember this for yourself."  This compassion sees through what Einstein called the "optical delusion" of separation.  Einstein taught us that we can free ourselves from identifying with this ego-consciousness by 'widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.'" --Robert Holden in Loveability p. 29 (emphasis in italics are mine)

And just what exactly is "the truth of who you are when you cannot remember this for yourself"? Everyone's truth is the same--that we are all one, that we all are a part of God's creation, that we are all one thing and one thing only...love.  We are perfect, whole and complete.  We are created by God in his own image.  God loves us infinitely and our one and only task is to extend this love by returning it to God and to each other.

When we flip the switch from fear to love, all we need to do is acknowledge this truth for the other person.  We simply need to know that they are a Child of God.  In a sense we are actually switching from the smallness of our ego minds to a much bigger and more truthful picture, in fact we are switching to the whole picture.  It's a matter of changing the perspective of our thinking and broadening our minds so that we see and think as God himself does.

This life of separation is only a dream our egos created anyway.  It's not real.  Nothing involving fear really exists. Fear is only an invention of the mind.  it is an illusion.  Yes, living here on 3D planet earth, we think it's real, but we've only forgotten the truth that we are all one and that in that oneness, we are love.

"To love and be loved is the true joy of every human heart.  There is no higher happiness than this.  Alas, in any human dramas there are also wounds and disappointments, mistakes, betrayals, pain and heartache.  Even so, love comes to our rescue.  Love offers us a solution, which is a process called forgiveness.  Forgiveness is an angel that comes to us when we sleep and wakes us from the hypnosis.  It is the ground of love that supports you when you are falling, breaking apart, and coming undone.  Forgiveness undoes the blocks to loves awareness.  It shows you that a universe of love doesn't ever stop, even when all you can see is pain.  Love always loves you, even when you can't or won't love yourself." --Robert Holding Loveability p. 29

Oddly, flipping the switch from fear to forgiveness is surprisingly easy once you get some practice with it.  It's true that when you are in the throes of anger and hurt, the thought of forgiving can feel very distasteful.  But once you learn that a feeling of love and relief flows over you with forgiveness, you will become more motivated to do it sooner.

Also, there is that little matter of increasing annoyances.  While you are in a state of separation and amplifying those fear feelings by cherishing the anger and hurt, your 3D earthly life will reflect this separation.  This is the time that you will stub your toe, lose an important business contract, upset the feelings of those you care about and wake up with a bad hair day.  This is absolutely true, and if you don't believe me about this yet, just watch how it plays out in your life.

So, learn to get over it quickly.  Drop the feelings of fear and let the hurt and anger switch over to love as quickly as you are able to.  Remember that when you give love, you get love.  Find the love and happiness you are seeking.  It's there waiting for you and all you have to do to receive it is practice forgiveness.

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The Judger Always Feels Judged

"The Judger Always Feels Judged."

I've had this statement taped to the inside of my medicine cabinet door for the past four years at least.  I'm not sure where I found it, perhaps it's from A Course in Miracles.

Regardless, it is an important reminder each day that what we give out is returned to us.  If I mentally criticize others on a regular basis, I know that I will feel like the world around me is watching me with disapproving eyes.

On the other hand, if I go about my day looking for the best aspects of everyone I meet, seeing them through eyes of love and overlooking shortcomings, I will be supported, valued and cherished by the world around me.

I once attended a seminar with Stuart Mooney, a self acclaimed American Buddha, who says he is enlightened.  I love what he had to say about the people in his world, "I just love everyone I see.  To me they are just so lovable, even the unpleasant ones."  Isn't this is a perfect way to put it?

Of course, not everyone out there is making the best choices.  When I say overlooking shortcomings, it's not that we don't always see another's "unpleasantness", but that we do learn to accept it as what is.  It's our job to respect everyone's right to their own adventures in this world.  If they choose to be difficult or misled, we have to just chalk it up to the fact that they simply don't know better and they're doing whatever it is they think they need to do to make the best of this life.  As Course students, we often say that we all either living love or crying out for love.

A Course in Miracles says that "we don't know what anything is for."  Therefore it's important not to judge what we see around us.  Since we are all here to get our forgiveness lessons so that we can grow and purify ourselves--until we eventually awaken, it is quite necessary that we have forgiveness opportunities.  That means someone has to play the bad guy so that there will be something to forgive. The person that you love to hate just may be a soul who has come here in this lifetime with an agreement to be annoying so that you can have the opportunity to forgive him and grow.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that we allow murders and child molesters to roam freely harming others at will.  When people behave in a manner that is dangerous to others, we need to protect the innocents.  However, even criminals are deserving of our loving forgiveness.

 Healing one's mind of the habit of judging is not something that happens over-night, at least in my experience.  I've been working on it for some years now and although I've made a lot of progress, I still find my mind thinking critical thoughts occasionally.  It really is only a habit though and if you stop and notice it, over time it will lessen.

I think it's very important that we carefully watch television, listen to the radio, read the papers or browse the internet.  We need to making sure that we are not judging people that we don't actually know (or even judging characters in TV shows or movies).  Just because we don't know someone does not give us the license to judge them.  Remember that all minds are linked and on some level, you are attacking these people.  Also, this habitual indulgence of judging people and characters that "aren't real" will make it all the more difficult to stop the habit of judging the people that you actually know or meet up with.

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What's to Forgive About the 4th?

Perhaps your 4th of July celebrations went off quietly and without a hitch.  Your 4th was peaceful or uneventful.  If so, you are free of forgiveness homework for now, but do remember that forgiveness opportunities are a part of everyone's life and if you're not being given a forgiveness assignment this weekend, you'll get one soon enough.

If, however, you had a crazy busy 4th with lots of family and friends treading on each others toes, travel traffic to deal with, crowds, summer heat and burnt BBQ, you might have a little forgiveness work to do.  Spend a few quiet moments quickly reviewing your holiday today.  Were there disappointments or moments of frustration and anger?  Did anyone insult you or hurt your feeling?  Did your buttons get pressed at any point either by people you know and love, by strangers in the crowds or traffic or simply by the events of the weekend?  If you find that there were any moments where you felt any negative feelings at all, it's time to do a little forgiveness work.

Send a little love to whomever or whatever activated your emotions over the holiday.  Go ahead.  Just flip the switch from fear and negative thinking to love.  If you find forgiveness easy, just see the people or events you need to forgive enveloped in white light.  You can say the words, "I forgive you.  I release you.  I bless you with love."  Or, you can envision them floating skyward in their brilliant white light and say the words, "I raise you. I praise you." over and over until you feel the switch has been flipped from fear to love.  You'll know it in your heart when that has happened.  If you're in the habit of forgiving, a quickie forgiveness process like one of these usually does the trick.  Congratulations...job done!

However, if you're new to forgiveness or if you had a particularly unsettling run-in with someone, you can try a more structured forgiveness process.  You can go to Colin Tipping's web-site and download one of his radical forgiveness forms.  Or, you can download my audio forgiveness meditation, "Forgive Someone Now",https://www.tahoedreaminteriors.com/forgive-someone-now/ which will guide you through forgiveness for only $2.99.  You can load it onto your computer or cell phone so that you can listen to it anytime you need it.  It will teach you an easy forgiveness process that you can use anytime and anywhere.

Get in the habit of reviewing your weekend every weekend and clearing through any unsettling events with forgiveness.  A forgiveness habit will create peace in your life over time.  You'll be amazed at how much your life and the world around you will change with a forgiveness lifestyle.  Forgiveness is the key to happiness.

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Choose Acceptance for Peace

There is a larger plan for us and our lives are carefully orchestrated to lead us to love.  In every decision, choice and pathway, love is always an option.  In fact, our ultimate and true purpose here is to learn to make that choice for love every time.

And, as it says in A Course in Miracles, we don't really know what anything we see in the world around us is for.  Sometimes life seems confusing.  It may not always look like we are being taken care of.  In our human smallness, there is just too much that we cannot know.  However, if we always look for that choice for love, we can know that we are on the pathway to peace and happiness.

"What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?" --A Course in Miracles Workbook Lesson 135

Sometimes that choice for love is in simply accepting the world around us as we see it.  We drop our defenses, quit battling with life and just breathe and accept.  It is never going to be the world our egos want it to be.  And, in fact, our egos don't have our higher interests are heart anyway.  What the ego wants is not necessarily the best for anyone involved.

So stop desperately wanting to get ahead.  Stop the constant wishing for a thinner body or a lottery win.  The answer is not in a fancier car, lower cholesterol, a fatter pay check or a better love life.  All the worldly things you desperately long for will never bring you the life you actually want.  Putting all your energy into planning, controlling, spinning, lamenting, begging and nudging the details of your life to become the life you wish it was will never work.  And here's the proof of this...has it worked so far?

The life you actually want comes through acceptance, forgiveness and love.   The world around you is the one that has been chosen for you, by you and with you.  It is the world that is very best suited to lead you to peace.  Make that choice for love in every moment you can today.  Just love and accept what you see around you today.  No need to judge it.  It's all good.  Forgive what bugs you and accept the rest.

And when you wake up tomorrow, make that choice for love again.

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Repeat Offenders

Many of us have someone in our regular everyday lives that repeatedly presses our buttons.  For some of us, this person annoys or triggers irritation in us just about every time we see them.

What do we do about this?

We forgive them every time this happens.  Yes, every single time.  Even if that means that we are forgiving the same person over and over each day.

It is very important to keep our forgiveness current, because when we go about our day with an un-forgiveness, we have switched ourselves out of a state of love and into a state of fear-based thinking.  Our day will then be filled with further problems and upsets until we get ourselves back into a state of alignment through our forgiveness.

It's also a good idea to review each day before going to bed at night and forgive this person once again before sleep. This will help to keep our dreams free of further disturbance and entanglement with them.

Some people are just difficult for us.   I've mentioned before that we come into this life with forgiveness challenges.  Life is a classroom and we have particular lessons to learn.  Some of us are given certain people that we need to learn to forgive.  It's part of our growth and purification process.  That means that we might find ourselves married to a spouse that irritates us frequently, or we might have a boss or an employee that is a constant challenge for us.  Perhaps one of our children is difficult for us to deal with.

Rather than letting this situation unduly frustrate or upset us, it's important to view it as what it is, a forgiveness opportunity.  This person is in our lives giving us the chance to grow and learn.

It's also important to take a good long deep hard look at why we feel annoyed with this person.  Chances are this person is mirroring back to us something we don't like about ourselves.  Look at what it is that makes this person difficult for you.  Are they too critical, short-tempered, easily frustrated, quick to lose control?  Whatever it is, you will probably find a little of that same characteristic in your own make-up.  As part of your forgiveness work, you'll need to go deeper in developing a more realistic understanding of this aspect of yourself and releasing and forgiving it in your own psyche as you work to forgive it in theirs.

Now, here's the good news.  Over time as you forgive this person again and again, you will find yourself becoming less frequently annoyed by them.  Part of this is because as your forgiveness washes over them, they will actually begin to lesson up on the annoying behavior.  Additionally, as you work on releasing this aspect of your own mind, you will feel less and less activated by their behavior.  This might be a slow process and take weeks, months and even years to resolve completely.  However, keep at it and you'll find that your life steadily improves as you do this work.

Remember, we're all here to see the truth about the world.  And that truth is that we are all really only LOVE, that we are One and that each and every one of us is the same.  We are going to have to figure out how to live this belief one way or another.  Be in a state of gratitude that this irritating person is in your life, showing you the way to Truth.  You have an easy everyday assignment that will get you there.  Just forgive this one person that annoys you over and over, every day.  Bless them and show them love through your forgiveness and bring on a happier state of mind for both of you.

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Let It Go

Here is the plain and simple truth...you can never be happy if you are judging and holding a grudge against someone else.  That is how this world works.  It's a universal law.  It just is.  

And yes, I know that it can seem scary to forgive.  It is the unknown pathway.  And we grasp on to our grudges and betrayals.  We cherish them...and nurture them...and our lives become all about them.  I know, I know.  I've been there.

The thing is, here's the truth.  Judgment and grudge-holding are the source of guilt in your life.  And guilt leads to separation from your Source.  

This is not happiness, this is life at it's smallest, most restricted and contracted.  It's not really what you want.  It's only what you think you want.  You simply don't know how to be otherwise.  No one has shown you a better way and a reason to follow it.  

But here it is, right now, right here...  

If you let your judgments and grudges go, you will be happier.  That's it.  So very simple and yet so very big.  You can be a happier person.  Your life can be easier for you.  You can feel safe and cherished in this world.  You can feel trust that you are protected and loved.  You can experience inner peace.  It's all there for you and you just have to do one simple thing...

Let it go.  

Repeating again from yesterday's post, because it bears repeating:

All this is so much bigger than holding onto that miserable pain-inducing, tight-fisted, life-long grudge against that most annoying someone in your life.  This is huge.  This is everything.  Do you see that?  Let it go.  Let it go.  LET IT GO.  Choose to live a happy life.  Choose to know your real truth.  Choose to be so much more than the smallness you are living now.  Forgive and be happy.

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